


The Vampire Hunter (But I Can't Help Falling In Love With You)

by damianknight



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla (Web Series) RPF, Carmilla - All Media Types, Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Betrayal, Comedy, Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, Love, M/M, Sexual Tension, Vampire Hunters, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damianknight/pseuds/damianknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura Hollis, a vampire hunter turned journalist, is starting her freshman year at Silas University. She wants to investigate who killed her mother. The answer lies with her gorgeous roommate, Carmilla Karnstein, a broody philosophy major ... and Silas's resident vampire.</p><p>Chapter 16 is up.</p><p>Thank you guys for reading this and as always, constructive criticism is welcomed!</p><p>P.S. I have some random little pieces set in this universe. Not exactly linear. But check out my dashboard if you guys want to read them. For example: <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/10734171">On the Road to Vienna</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4563558/chapters/10390776">LaFontaine's Laboratory (This Is Me)</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4567743">What Lives In Room 307's Shower Drain (Perry's Dilemma)</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4595316">Game Night (So, Harry Potter's Real?)</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4625091">Before The Storm (At Least We Kissed)</a>, and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5465666">I Am Not In Love With You</a>.</p><p>Also, <a href="http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/">here</a> is my tumblr. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of it all.

The strange woman was pale. Almost white. Her skin contrasted sharply with her jet black hair cascading over her shoulders. She carefully cradled Laura’s mother in her arms. Stillness reigned. 

At the sound of their approaching footsteps, the woman looked up at Laura and her father. Laura realized she was mistaken. The stranger looked less like a woman and more like a frightened young girl. Her dark eyes locked onto Laura’s. They sucked her in, drowning her in a whirlpool of emotions. Grief and fear inundated her, filling her lungs, leaving little room for air.

Laura pointed wordlessly. Her father turned to look. A heartbeat. The calm before the storm. And then it shattered. He let go of Laura’s small hand. Roared like a bull. Charged at the girl holding his wife. 

She disappeared. 

Laura blinked slowly, confused. Her father stopped in his tracks. He looked around wildly before running to Laura’s mother. Throwing himself to his knees, he tore open her blouse. His fingers desperately scrabbled over her wrist, her white neck. Searching for a pulse. But finding none. Only cold skin, and two small holes. Punctures. He tried resuscitating her mother—no, her mother’s body. It stayed limp. 

The sun beat down on them.

Laura stood rooted to the spot. Seconds trickled by. Turning into minutes. Lengthening into hours. Stretching into eternities. It was her father who broke the stillness. He slowly rocked back onto his heels, running his hand through his hair. He looked at Laura. She was crying, tears running down her face in rivulets. His own eyes were dry, his grief too great for tears. He tiredly bowed his head. 

And spoke.

“Vampire.”

Laura didn’t understand. But she remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Check out my [tumblr](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/). I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	2. Time to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura arrives at Silas.

“Are you sure about this? It’s not too late to change your mind.” David Hollis’s brow furrowed as he placed a large calloused hand on his daughter’s shoulder. 

“Dad, I’ll be fine. I’ve got enough bear spray to last me ‘til graduation. And I’m sure about this,” Laura replied as she patted his hand soothingly. She hefted the enormous canvas backpack slung over her shoulder and winked at him. He grumpily sized the backpack up and pulled out another silver can from his back pocket, stuffing it into the pack’s mesh pouch. Laura grinned and bounded into his arms for hug. They stayed like that for a few moments, wrapped up in each other’s embrace. It was warm and familiar, unlike the cold, gray masonry of Silas University. 

A bell tolled in the tall clock tower, its mournful peals echoing across the packed courtyard filled with parents saying goodbye to their children. Laura and her father reluctantly broke apart. Parents started to leave as the students made their way over to the residential halls. 

“Okay dad, I really have to go. We’re supposed to get our room assignments right now.” Seeing her father’s crestfallen face, Laura pouted. “Come on, cheer up! I’ll be back for Christmas.” She tried to keep her voice even, while blinking back her tears. _Don’t cry. Not now. Be strong for both of us._

“All right. I’ll miss you. Hunts won’t be the same without my baby Hulk by my side,” David huffed gruffly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his worn cargo pants. He held back tears of his own. 

“Dad! Don’t say that out loud! Seriously.” 

“I know, I know. But you’re leaving me for six months. I get to make fun of you one last time, sweetie.” 

Laura smiled indulgently. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed her father’s scarred jaw. He swept her up into another hug, but let go quickly. She gave him a small smile and started to walk away, dragging her enormous suitcase behind her. He sighed heavily, his mind wandering as he watched her retreating figure. She looked so small, swamped by her luggage. But also fierce and strong, judging by the way she handled that suitcase. Just like her mother. A hollow feeling settled in his chest. After all these years, the wound was still there. Laura filled the gaping hole, but it wasn’t the same. And now she was leaving him. _We are all we’ve got. Sarah, I hope I’m doing the right thing, letting her go alone._

He waited. A slight breeze picked up, tickling his cheek and gently ruffling his graying hair. It was comforting. He closed his eyes, letting some of the tension roll off his shoulders. _She’s grown up well. I’m so proud of her. And I know you are too._

The breeze softly died down. He gave the students one last look, picking out Laura from the crowd. She spun around, as if she could feel his stare, and waved. He waved back. _She’ll be okay—more than okay._

He turned and walked back to the parking lot, searching for his car. It was a monstrous black truck, covered with scratches and dents but spotlessly clean. Climbing into the cab, he started the engine. The radio crackled to life, playing some pop song all the kids were listening to nowadays. He raised his hand to change the station, but stopped. The song wasn’t so bad. He looked over at the empty passenger seat, feeling a twinge of loneliness. _Keep it together._ Revving the engine, he pulled out from the lot and onto the dirt road bordering the campus. He had a flight to catch, and a vampire hunt to continue. Alone this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading =]
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I just created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	3. Once Upon a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's not a bad thing to run over someone's foot with your suitcase.

Laura slowly meandered through the dense thicket of bodies. It was tough going, trying to push through the crowd with all her luggage. She adjusted the straps on her backpack and tugged on her suitcase as she inched forward. 

“Ow! What the fuck?” someone snarled. “Get this fat thing off me!” 

“Crap! Sorry, sorry!” Laura squealed. She had squashed someone’s foot underneath her humongous suitcase. With a gigantic effort that belied her small stature, she heaved the suitcase free. Panting slightly from exertion, she pushed her hair out of her sweaty face and looked around for her victim. Her eyes fell on a girl who was cursing fluently under breath as she massaged her foot. 

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Do you need some ice for that? I don’t have any right now but when we get to the dorms I’ll find some and bring it to you! Where’s your luggage? I can help you with that since, you know, I crushed your foot and all,“ Laura quipped nervously, fluttering her hands uselessly in the air. 

Before her victim could respond, a hand gripped the back of Laura’s collar and pulled her roughly around. She came face to face with a veritable redheaded giant. And a good looking one at that. But before Laura could admire her any further, the giant flexed her biceps threateningly and raised her fist, which incidentally was larger than Laura’s face. 

“Did you hurt her? Carmilla? Did you hurt her? You’ve got three seconds to give me the right answer, frosh!” she shouted, pointing at the other girl, now hopping up and down on one foot. 

Laura didn’t give her a chance to start counting. She reached up and grasped the tall girl’s wrist, twisting underneath her arm. The girl wasn’t expecting that and let go of Laura’s shirt. Laura stepped back quickly, dropping the wrist and folding her arms across her chest. She glared at the redhead, mildly annoyed.

“Listen! I don’t know who you think you are but you can’t just push me around! Yeah, I did roll over her foot but it was an accident!” Laura said angrily, jabbing a finger at the Ent. 

The giantess’s eyes blazed. She stepped forward menacingly until Laura had to crane her neck to stare up into her face. She was very, very tall. Laura gulped. She learned Krav Maga mainly for self-defense. Her knowledge of offensive techniques was woefully lacking. Either way it didn’t matter. Laura Hollis was a small girl who barely cleared the giant’s belly button. And although Laura was a powerhouse—that’s why her father called her his “baby Hulk”—she was no match for this Goliath and her rippling muscles. 

“Woah, break it up guys. Perr, looks like we have some trouble already.” 

Both Laura and the girl started. Laura flushed, slightly embarrassed. _What am I thinking? Picking fights on the first day? No, she totally had it coming!_ She bit her bottom lip, twisting the hem of her shirt between her hands. _But still, it’s the first day. I should be trying to get along with people. That’s what Dad’ll want me to do._

Before Laura could open her mouth and apologize, two more redheads appeared, one with extremely curly hair that made her look like she just made out with a live wire, and the other with a side-swept undercut. The curly haired girl took in the scene before her—Laura looking abashed and the tall girl looking murderous. 

“I’m Lola Perry, one of the floor dons at Silas. This is LaFontaine.” Lola Perry jerked her head in the undercut redhead’s direction. “I’m supposed to be overseeing the smooth transition of freshmen into the school. Danny, what’s going on here?” she asked, fixing the tall girl with a stern stare. 

“LaF, Perr, relax. I was just asking this frosh if she hurt Carmilla. And then she decided to go full out ninja on me,” the giantess said, rolling her eyes. Laura looked at Danny with outraged disbelief. 

“Hey! That’s not true. You grabbed me by my collar and yanked me around! How else was I supposed to react? You could’ve been trying to—to kidnap me or something!” Laura shot back.

“Cupcake, please. Who’d want to kidnap you?” 

Laura looked for the source of that husky voice. It came from her victim, Carmilla. Laura was relieved to see her upright, lounging lazily against Laura’s suitcase. _Great. I didn’t break anyone’s bones._ Laura’s eyes absently traveled down Carmilla’s body. Tight leather pants accentuated the curve of her legs nicely while a sheer gray shirt clung to her torso, leaving little to the imagination. It was immensely distracting. _Why are all the girls here so damn good looking?_

“And for the record, I can take care of myself, thanks.” Carmilla continued, throwing a haughty glance at Danny, who balled her hands into fists but didn’t answer. Carmilla laughed lightly, the sound sending strange shivers down Laura’s back, and tossed her head. Her wavy black hair shifted slightly away from her face. Laura looked curiously at Carmilla. And was transported back in time. 

_Back to that day. The sun baked earth. The stench of death in the air. Her father, kneeling next to her mother, trying to save her. All in vain._

“Oh!” Laura gasped, staggering back. She felt herself falling. Strong arms caught her. Carmilla’s face swam into view. 

_The sun. Death. Her father. And that strange woman._

Danny was shouting something at her. Laura couldn’t hear. Carmilla bent over her again. 

_The strange woman. Was it Carmilla? It couldn’t be. Carmilla would be middle aged by now._

Darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	4. Who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The floor dons clearly did not read Laura's roommate questionnaire.

“You think it has something to do with Carmilla?”

“Didn’t you see? Every time Carmilla got close she started seizing again.”

“Guys, sh! I think she’s waking up!” 

Laura groaned. She felt like someone had hit her in the face with a shovel. And then dropped her in a vat of acid before shoving her into a meat grinder. Maybe she was exaggerating but it sure wasn’t a good feeling. 

“Laura, sweetie? Can you hear me?” 

She felt cool hands carefully brushing her forehead. Another voice cut in.

“Perr, why don’t we try my way? I promise it’ll wake her up, and it won’t really hurt. That much.” 

Someone exhaled loudly.

“LaFontaine. For the last time, I’m not going to let you stick that—that _thing_ into her head! It’s dangerous and illegal. Where did you even get it?”

“Relax. It’s just a stimulating electrode. I stole—“ 

“ _LaFontaine._ ” The voice turned dangerous.

“ _Took_ —I _took_ it from the neuro lab next door. It’ll just give her a little shock, no biggie, and she’ll jump right up. Theoretically, at least.” 

That did it. Laura didn’t like the sound of whatever LaFontaine was planning to do to her brain. She opened her eyes and stared up at the three people crowded around her. They all breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

“What—what’s going on? Where am I?” Laura asked hesitantly. She wasn’t outside anymore, but her surroundings were completely alien. 

“Way to make us panic, frosh. You fainted so we brought you to your room. How’re you feeling right now?” Danny looked at her searchingly, all traces of aggression gone. She offered Laura a hand and pulled her up into a sitting position. 

Laura didn’t know what she felt. She couldn’t really remember what happened. _What happened? I arrived at Silas. I tried to get to the freshmen registration desk. I got into that stupid fight with Danny. About what?_

Laura scrutinized her room as she thought. One side, her side presumably, looked depressingly bare. Posters and artwork covered the other half. She felt stunned. _Who the hell is my roommate?_ She certainly did not seem like the type of person Laura specified when she filled out her roommate questionnaire. Her eyes wandered over a rough charcoal sketch of some forgotten city, a poster of a punk rock chamber music group, and an abstract painting comprised primarily of weird spiky shapes. Laura tore her gaze away from a drawing of a red giant supernova that was situated directly above the headboard of a messy, unkempt bed. 

She felt her mouth drop open. Blankets and clothes were piled haphazardly on the mattress. Books and other strange knickknacks littered the floor and shelves. No, this was _so_ not happening. Her roommate was a hot mess. Sure, Laura Hollis wasn’t the cleanest person on the planet, but she wasn’t filthy. This was ridiculous. She’d have to put in for a room transfer right away. A pair of slashed black jeans hanging off the end of the bed caught her eye.

“Carmilla!” 

All three redheads jumped violently at her shout. Laura didn’t realize how quiet the room had gotten. She glanced at them apologetically, but felt triumphant. That’s right. Carmilla. Her earlier memories rushed back to her. She ran over Carmilla’s foot with her suitcase. _My suitcase! Where’s my luggage? And what about all that registration stuff?_

“Uh guys, where did you put my things? And what exactly happened?” Laura asked frantically. She tried to jump off her bed but strong hands held her down. 

“You just fainted and now you want to run around again? You’re staying right here,” Danny replied, firmly restraining her. 

Laura couldn’t fight with those gargantuan muscles. She settled for scowling at Danny, who seemed unperturbed.

“All right, fine. Lola, what’s happening?”

“Perry. Please, call me Perry. So, you fainted. Danny caught you, and brought you to your room. LaFontaine and I brought up all your luggage.” She pointed at Laura’s suitcase and backpack which were leaning against the door. “And I took care of all your paperwork.” Perry nodded at a stack of papers on the desk at the far end of the room, her curls bouncing erratically on her head. 

Laura’s heart swelled. She barely knew these students, but they took care of her. These were good people. She wanted to be friends with all of them. _I hope I don’t mess up with these guys._

“Sorry. Perry. Got it. Thanks guys. And Danny, I’m sorry for overreacting earlier.”

Danny grinned easily and finally released Laura. “Don’t worry about it. You know, with your skills, you’d be a great addition to the Summer Society.” She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for Laura’s response. 

Laura could only stare blankly. “What’s that?” 

Danny, unfazed, launched into her spiel. “Summer Society is—“

“—a club whose sole purpose is to defeat the Zetas,” LaFontaine casually finished.

Danny bristled. “Don’t listen to LaF. They’re just jealous they’re not in it.”

Laura’s eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. _What does Danny mean by “they’re?”_

“Not jealous. Just realistically saying.” LaFontaine seemed to sense Laura’s confusion. “Oh, and I don’t know if you know what non-binary gender is, but basically I don’t identify with being either a boy or a girl, so I like pronouns like ‘they’ and ‘their.’ That’s why Danny said ‘they’re’.” They cast a shy sidelong glance at Laura, their hand twitching nervously.

“Oh, okay! That’s cool with me. I totally support the LGBTQQIP2SAA community. I’m gay, by the way,” Laura said quickly, looking back at LaFontaine and trying to imbue her smile with acceptance and understanding. 

LaFontaine beamed happily at Laura, who felt warm and fuzzy all over. And then they sniggered. The sudden change in atmosphere confused Laura. They waggled their eyebrows like a villain from vaudeville and gave Danny a mischievous look before readdressing Laura.

“Like we couldn’t tell you were gay by the way you checked out Carmilla.” 

Laura blushed as Danny snorted. For some reason, Danny looked murderous again as she lightly punched LaFontaine on the shoulder. LaFontaine sailed off the bed with a loud shriek and landed on the floor with a thud. Perry clucked her tongue disapprovingly and helped them up. She pulled out a feather duster from her purse and started to dust off LaFontaine’s clothes, all the while shooting dirty looks at Danny. Danny just shrugged and refocused on Laura.

“As I _was _saying, I think you’ll like Summer Society. We’re a club for women athletes on campus. Everyone lives and works together in the Society House. We host a lot of fun events, like the Adonis Hunt. Do you want to come check it out sometime?” Danny offered.__

__Laura’s heart leapt at her words. Live with the sexy woman warrior? Laura’s inner fangirl cried tears of joy. That would be so cool! And, she’d be able to avoid her weird messy roommate without hassle._ _

__“That sounds great! Can we go take a look now?” Laura asked eagerly, gingerly trying to stand._ _

__“Woah, hang on a second. Don’t you want to meet your _new_ roommate?” LaFontaine smirked at Laura. They looked like they knew a juicy secret and wanted to spill._ _

__“New?”_ _

__This time, Perry spoke up. “Yes, Laura. There were some—complications with your original roommate.” Perry looked slightly nervous as she fiddled with her duster. “Long story short, she’s in some sort of coma—and yes LaFontaine I know you have your theories but now is hardly the time to bore Laura with them,” Perry said exasperatedly, shushing a very excited LaFontaine. “But the floor dons figured everything out. Everything _should_ be fine.”_ _

__Seeing LaFontaine’s growing grin and Danny’s death glare, Laura doubted everything would work out as perfectly as Perry thought. Trepidation settled in her stomach. _Who is this girl?_ At that moment, the door swung open. Four heads turned in the direction of that sound. _ _

__Carmilla strutted in, closing the door with a swift kick. Her hair hung over her face as she slung her bag on the messy bed. Laura felt confused and sick at the same time. _Carmilla? Why is she throwing her stuff on that bed like she owns it?__ _

__“Um, excuse me. What are you doing here?”_ _

__Carmilla started to unpack her bag. She casually tossed a few books onto the shelf and pulled out a black thermos before deigning to respond._ _

__“I’m your new roommate, sweetheart.” Carmilla opened the thermos and took a long, languid swallow. “Or rather, _you_ , are mine.” _ _

__The way her voice wrapped around those words made Laura tremble._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who read this.


	5. What Could Possibly Be Harder?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sphinxes, ghouls, and trolls.

Laura thought she experienced a fair amount of hardship during her life. 

There were the typical vampire hunter problems. Like the time she had to live in a tiny tent with a group of big smelly vampire hunters as they tracked a succubus in Siberia. For some odd reason, the hunters insisted on singing the “America’s Next Top Model” theme song constantly. They were convinced that Tyra Banks was a friendly vampire—“Tyra hasn’t aged since she was sixteen! And she hasn’t killed anyone. Yet. She must be a good vamp, right?” Night after night, they resolutely warbled their hearts out with horrible, off-pitch voices. The discordant sound grated on Laura’s nerves, especially since she had perfect pitch. After a particularly raucous session, an avalanche swept away most of their supplies. The hunters started singing in fearful whispers after that. The next day, Laura secretly thanked the mountain for preserving her ears by picking up all the litter she could find. 

Then there were the everyday living-in-a-world-with-monsters problems. For example, she had to spear an enraged sphinx through the heart while fending off a flirtatious ghoul who told her that he was the Emperor of the Underworld, and knew Hades personally—“Hades drops by for tea every Tuesday and Thursday. Sometimes, we see even celebrities. Last week, J.S. Le Fanu sat with us! I got his autograph _and_ a copy of his newest book.” Laura didn’t know who J.S. Le Fanu was, but she could hardly care less. The ghoul was obviously all talk. She killed the sphinx with a swift blow. Then, she led the ghoul on a merry chase all over the English countryside until she came across a village called “Ottery St. Catchpole.” A pair of lanky redheaded twins saw her with the ghoul and offered to take it off her hands. They said they had a lonely ghoul in their attic who wanted some company. Laura gladly acquiesced. She followed them to their house, “The Burrow,” and gave the ghoul the slip. There was no denying that the ghoul was interesting company. But, while monsters were exciting, sometimes Laura felt like they were more trouble than they were worth.

And then finally, there were the normal teenage girl problems. Like figuring out what to wear to prom (Laura went with a dress that looked like a tuxedo). Or trying to figure out tampons (Laura realized she was more of a visual learner as she tried to follow the company spokesperson’s instructions over the phone). And coming out to her dad.

Yeah, that last one definitely qualified as one of the hardest things Laura’s ever done. 

After escaping the ghoul, Laura met up with her father on the outskirts of a sleepy little town in Austria. He heard rumors that the villagers knew the whereabouts of a vampire who seemingly fit the description of the one that killed Laura’s mother. The villagers refused to tell her father anything until he eradicated the troll outbreak that threatened their home. He readily agreed, enlisting Laura’s help. 

Between blows, she hemmed and hawed, trying to find the right words. _How can I tell my dad that no, I don’t want to marry Brad Pitt, but if Angelina Jolie asked me to run away with her, I’d tell her to let me pack my bags?_ Her dad always seemed super open minded and accepting. _But what if that’s only for show? What if he says it’s okay to be gay for everyone else, but not for me?_ Laura knew of several instances of familial hypocrisy when it came to these types of matters. _I wonder if he already suspects anything. But if he did, he hasn’t kicked me out yet. But, what if he’s totally oblivious?_ She tossed around a few phrases in her mind. _Dad, I made out on your bed. With our insanely hot next-door-neighbor._ Those weren’t the right words. _Damn it, Hollis! Girl the hell up and say it!_ She hesitated. _I’m literally battling for my life right now, but I can’t tell my dad that I like girls._ A giggle burst from her lips, turning into a full-blown laugh. _This’s kind of messed up._ But she knew why. Her mom was dead. She didn’t want her dad— protector, mentor, best friend—to leave too. She glanced at him fondly. He spun, ducked, and twirled his sword, fighting three trolls at once. _I can't lose him._

The breath left Laura’s lungs as a big troll grabbed her ankle and hoisted her into the air. _Stop getting distracted!_ Laura screeched inhumanly and madly swung her wooden spatula. Her arms, too short, hung uselessly in the air. She couldn’t land a hit. The troll raised his club, his small eyes glinting evilly at her. 

“Dad! I just want you to know that—that I’m gay! And, I love you!” _Wait, did I just say that out loud?_ Judging from her dad’s stunned expression, she did. But hanging upside down in midair about to be clobbered to death never felt so good. Laura chanced a glance at her troll and found him staring at her with his mouth hanging wide open. She scowled at him and threw her spatula, hitting his bulbous nose. _Yeah, so what I like girls? You can suck it._

A dagger sprouted from the middle of the troll’s forehead. Air whooshed past her as she fell, landing in a heap on the hard ground. Her troll keeled over, dead. Her dad made quick work of the rest of the trolls, severing the last head with practiced ease. The big lumpy head thudded to the ground and rolled to a stop at Laura’s feet. She kicked it away. After a moment, her father cleared his throat. 

“Are you in a relationship, Laura? Who is it? Did you two kiss—what have I told you about herpes? Is that why you asked for a new phone? Do you—what do you kids call it—do the thing where you send inappropriate pictures?”

“Dad. Seriously?” Laura folded her arms. “No, I’m not dating anyone, and no, I don’t sext.”

“Sext?” 

“It’s when you—ugh, never mind. I don’t do that kind of stuff. You know me.”

Her dad’s posture relaxed. Somewhat. “Okay, sorry. Overreacting.”

“It’s okay.” Laura bit the inside of her cheek as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. 

Her father could sense her discomfort. He put down his sword and slung an arm around her shoulders. 

“Laura, I don’t care what you like. As long as you’re happy.” He gave her the biggest, friendliest smile ever. 

Her heart swelled. She squealed and squeezed him as hard as she could. He squeezed her back. All her anxiety and fear melted away. The heartbreaking years spent wondering if her dad would still love her after she came out seemed so long ago. _It’s okay. It’s actually okay._

“I love you, dad.” 

“I love you too, Laura.” He was quiet for a beat. “But, you’d tell me if you had a girlfriend, right?”

Laura smiled into his chest. “You’ll be the first to know.”

In retrospect, all of those things seemed easy. Trivial, even. Nothing could have prepared her for a roommate like Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally part of a chapter I'd written a long time ago. I cut that original chapter into 3 parts and added some stuff. Sorry about the confusion. Thanks for reading =]
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	6. The Roommate From Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it acceptable to kill your roommate during the first week of school?

After Carmilla dumped her stuff on the bed, LaFontaine, Perry, and Danny all quickly excused themselves. LaFontaine had to go back to lab to stop a biological reaction or else “the plasmid’s going to be completely chewed up!” _What does that even mean?_ Perry had to supervise the rest of the freshmen as they moved into the dorms and make sure “no one steps in that poisonous swamp by the art building.” _We have a poisonous swamp?_ And Danny had to oversee preparations for “the annual Summer Society start-of-the-year party. Want to come with?” _Yes! I’m totally down! But wait, I shouldn’t push myself on her too much. She’s probably just being nice. I should give her some space. But what if she never asks me again? Should I ask for her number?_

Danny looked at her expectantly, one hand on the brass doorknob. Laura pulled herself together. 

“Yeah, about the party, I think I should unpack first. And I’m still feeling sort of weird from before so I don’t think I should drink. Tonight, at least.” Laura did her best to sound cool and detached. _I hope she doesn’t think I hate parties or something._

“Okay, sounds good. Yeah, you should probably sleep early or something. I’ll see you around then. See you, Carmilla,” Danny tossed over her shoulder while pulling the door shut. 

Laura started. Danny’s presence made her completely forget that someone else was in the room. She took a breath, steadying herself. She was alone with Carmilla. _Why am I so nervous? Focus Hollis. Let’s try to make a friend._ Laura opened her mouth.

“Your girlfriend’s not coming back anytime soon, spaz.” 

Laura spluttered incoherently. She turned around and faced Carmilla, whose nose was buried in some book.

“She’s _not_ my girlfriend!” Laura tried to emphasize the “not.”

“Sure. And you’re _not_ gay.” 

Laura didn’t know what to say. So, she settled for unpacking her things. She unzipped her big suitcase and started laying out all her clothing in neat piles—underwear, bras, socks, pants, shorts, skirts, shirts, dresses, sweaters, cardigans, jackets, and her hunting outfit. She gathered up her underwear pile and walked over to the closet at the back of the room. Laura tried pulling open the door, but it was stuck. She sighed and set her armful of clothing down. Using both hands, she yanked on the handle as hard as she could. The door flew open. A deluge of clothing inundated Laura, burying her under its many layers. She shrieked and tried clawing her way out, gasping for air.

“What was that!” Laura threw an accusatory stare at Carmilla. 

“What?” Carmilla didn’t even bother lifting her eyes from her current page.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I almost died because _someone_ left a huge pile of clothes in the closet!” Laura shouted as she angrily extricated herself from the pile. “I could’ve suffocated! I could’ve died! I could’ve—”

“Relax, cutie. You’re fine.” Carmilla took a sip from her thermos, and fingered the corner of the page. 

“That’s not the point! How about some warning next time?” Laura seethed, glaring at daggers at her roommate. _Seriously, how rude is this girl? She hasn’t looked at me even once! I swear, if she reads one more page—._

Carmilla flipped the page. 

Laura marched over to her and snatched the book away. 

“What the frilly hell is this?” Carmilla tried to take her book back, but Laura danced out of reach.

“As roommates, we should try to be polite. So, when I ask you something, don’t just sit there and ignore me! That’s bad communication, and friends aren’t supposed to—“ 

In one fluid motion, Carmilla stood. Laura’s never seen anyone move so gracefully. It was kind of intimidating. Laura didn’t realize how close she’d gotten to her, and hastily stepped back. Carmilla wasn’t that much taller, maybe two or three inches at the most, but Laura felt like she towered over her. She shrank away. Carmilla’s bangs hid her eyes, and shadows wreathed the rest of her face. But, her voice came out crystal clear.

“We are _not_ friends.” Carmilla took a slow step forward. Laura took a quick step back.

“We will _not_ be friends.” Another step forward. Another step back. 

“Now, why don’t you give me what is mine?” Carmilla purred dangerously, taking one more step. Laura felt paralyzed. She couldn’t back away anymore, her legs pressed against the side of her bed. They were so close that Laura couldn’t look at Carmilla without getting cross-eyed. Everything was still, save for the rapid rise and fall of Laura's chest.

Laura gulped, frightened. She wordlessly handed her the book. Carmilla ran her slender fingers along the spine, briefly brushing Laura’s hand. Her fingers were surprisingly warm, in sharp contrast to the icy tone of her voice. Laura shuddered. She let go of the book and watched Carmilla fall back onto her bed, thumbing to the right page. An ominous silence settled over the room. Laura carefully turned and went back to the pile of underwear and goodness knows what else. Carmilla definitely wasn’t going to help her clean this up. She sighed. There were so many clothes to fold. Alone. To make matters worse, she didn’t even get Danny’s number. 

Over the next few days, Laura learned quite a lot about her roommate. 

Carmilla never looked her directly in the eye. She always averted her gaze when Laura tried talking to her. Laura became used to that after a while, but it still bothered her. _Am I so ugly she can’t even look me in the face without going blind?_ Once, Laura deliberately stuck her face right at Carmilla as she entered the room. But, Carmilla simply rushed away and returned with a balaclava. Laura stopped trying after that.

Carmilla was also seemingly nocturnal. _How does she even go class? How is she not flunking out?_ She didn’t like to sleep at night, preferring to hibernate during the day. In Laura’s bed. Sometimes wearing Laura’s pajamas. Laura lost count of the number of times she routed Carmilla out of her half of the room, only to come back and find her in her bed. Again. 

She stole Laura’s things, namely her hot chocolate and her favorite yellow pillow. _I wonder if I can report this to the police._ Laura tried, but campus security just laughed off her complaints. Apparently, they had bigger problems to worry about, like when the next werewolf battle would take place or the influx of illegal imps that tried to jump the border fence. 

Carmilla seemed deathly allergic to cleaning, but created messes as if her life depended on it. Dirty dishes piled up faster than Laura could wash them. Dust bunnies the size of pumpkins lived under her bed and snapped at Laura when she wanted to vacuum. Weird slimy molds started growing in the sink and tried migrating into the refrigerator. _I guess that passive aggressive note I left didn’t get through to her._ Carmilla frequently clogged the shower drain and used Laura’s brushes. _I can literally make a wig out of all the hair I picked up._ Laura finally made a chore wheel but found Carmilla using it as a coaster. To be completely honest, Laura didn’t think she’d actually use it. But, it was worth a try.

To top it all off, Carmilla loved sexiling Laura. The first time that happened, Laura accidentally walked in on her going at it with a blonde girl who looked vaguely familiar. Laura blushed beet red and backed out quickly, muttering apologies out of embarrassment. _Wait, why do I have to be sorry again? It’s my room too!_ She tried going back inside. Carmilla simply smirked and doubled her volume, forcing Laura to seek sanctuary in Perry’s room. This happened often enough that Laura grew immensely annoyed. She still didn’t have the guts to throw out Carmilla’s “study buddies,” as she called them, but let slip that Carmilla had a raging case of cold sores that were _super_ contagious. Bizarrely enough, the girls kept coming. _Why does someone want to get cold sores? Carmilla must have a magic finger or something._ Judging from the sounds emanating from the room, Carmilla did indeed.

At the end of the week, Laura reached a conclusion.

Carmilla was, unequivocally, the worst roommate ever. And that was including the Tyra-Banks-worshipping group of vampire hunters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I split the original chapter into 3 parts. This is part two. I apologize for the confusion this may have caused and I hope this chapter is written well enough to make up for that. Thank you for reading this.
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	7. Magic and Sentience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura settles into Silas.

On a happier note, Laura’s college experience started out well. She managed to get into all her classes which consisted of: Journalism 102: Introduction to Investigative Reporting (Professor Cochrane adored her), English 101: Introduction to Literary Analysis (Danny was the TA, and Laura made sure to sign up for her TA sessions), History 047: Supernatural Creatures Through the Years (which was taught by a novel-loving mermaid so all their classes took place at the edge of Silas’s lake), and Chemistry 069: The Chemistry of Love (LaFontaine insisted on Laura taking this course to fulfill her science requirement). Laura thought her classes and professors were super exciting, and she was eager to learn.

The people, or rather beings, at Silas were also fascinating. While monsters weren’t officially sanctioned by the university, they outnumbered the students by a good amount. Some of them sat in on classes (Laura’s journalism seatmate was a minotaur who wanted to be a news anchor). Others ran lectures (a hag headed the history department and taught most of the upper division history courses). The humans came from various walks of life (criminals, soldiers, presidents, bankers, ballerinas, and more). Many of the students came straight out of high school. A select few attended Silas for their graduate degrees. And a couple of humans ran the administrative buildings. These administrators maintained that prospective human students wouldn’t want to attend a school seemingly overpopulated by monsters (some monsters cited this as an example of workplace discrimination and petitioned to change the employment policies; rallies happened every so often and anyone was welcome to join). Laura reveled in the diversity on campus. She found the friendly monsters intriguing to talk to, and spent hours at the campus coffee shop interviewing different students and compiling a register. The only thing possibly more interesting than her classes and the student body was Silas itself.

Magic ran Silas. It permeated every corridor and hallway, seeped through the walls, and bubbled up through the floors. Laura would walk to class and watch the Lustig Theater rearrange itself according to the weather (on sunny days the building looked like any old rectangular prism with windows, but during heavy storms it formed a fist with a very long middle finger). She tried studying in the library, only to be chased out by a vortex of paper and pens (Laura returned wearing a suit of armor she borrowed from the armory—no amount of flying stationery would interfere with her grades). The Alchemy Clubhouse, shaped like Merlin’s hat, didn’t like to sit in one place for long, and frequently disappeared and reappeared in the strangest places, like the women’s locker rooms for example. 

Laura loved it all. Sometimes, she would go looking for magic. And other times, magic found her. 

One day after class, Laura went for a walk. She hadn’t fully explored the campus, and wanted to do so before school became hectic. She invited Carmilla, but the other girl burrowed further into her bed and pretended to snore. So, Laura picked up her Polaroid camera and set out alone. She didn’t know why she still tried to be friends with her. Carmilla never showed the slightest interest in anything besides girls, books, and messes. Laura shook her head. Earlier, Carmilla walked in wearing a pair of black jeans and a black crop top. Laura’s eyes inadvertently followed Carmilla around the room as she put down her bag and stretched. Her shirt climbed up, revealing a sliver of pale skin. Carmilla walked over to the fridge, in that lithe way of hers, and bent down. Laura’s eyes raked up and down Carmilla’s legs before she realized what she was doing. Laura tried putting her eyes back in their sockets, but it was futile. She literally could not look away. That’s when she decided she needed a walk, before she did something stupid. Like kiss her annoying sexy roommate. 

The moment Laura stepped outside of her residential hall, she forgot about Carmilla. Early fall transformed Silas. All the trees looked aflame. Vibrant oranges, bloody reds, and flaming yellows blazed across her vision. The colors stood out from the gray stonework of the giant gothic cathedral directly across from her. To her right, a towering church, compete with flying buttresses and a ribbed arch, rose mightily from the ground. She turned to her left and saw an abbey, flanked by stone lions, standing silently. Laura started taking pictures with wild abandon, clicking away furiously as though afraid the campus might disappear. She wanted to hang a clothesline of photos above her bed for decoration, and these beautiful buildings were picture perfect. 

Laura wandered around the campus for several hours. It was large and desolate. Not many people were out and about. That suited Laura just fine. She was used to being alone. Occasionally, she’d take a picture or two, pausing to admire the architecture. Finally, when her growling stomach elicited a horrified stare from some fraternity boy, she started to head back. As she trekked along the cobbled main road, she sorted through her pictures. To her chagrin, none of her pictures developed properly. Except for one. She looked closely at the photograph, confused. She had accidentally clicked the shutter and taken a picture of her foot. Her foot was perfectly in focus, but the flagstones underneath her shoe were blurred. Laura flipped through the pictures again. She raised her camera and took a picture. It printed. Completely blurry. Laura thought for a moment. She stretched out her left hand until it was in line with one of the buildings, and clicked the shutter. Her left hand came out crystal clear. But the building behind it was completely distorted. _Maybe the campus is camera-shy. That’s so weird. Silas is, like, alive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last part of the original chapter. Updated and lengthened. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	8. I Kissed A Girl. (Almost)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, why is everyone so good looking at Silas?

Laura briskly stuffed her textbooks into her backpack. She had a video date with her dad and didn’t want to be late. At the front of the room, Danny wiped the chalkboard clean, and dusted off her hands. Laura zipped up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. She picked up her water bottle and started toward the door.

“Hollis! Wait!” 

Laura smiled internally but kept her face carefully blank. She turned.

“What’s up?” 

Danny picked up her bag and jogged over to her with a wide smile on her face. Laura couldn’t help but notice Danny’s taut calves and sculpted thighs. Her long red hair, tied back into a long ponytail, showed off her slender neck. Butterflies fluttered in Laura’s stomach as Danny slowed to a stop in front of her. Her scent engulfed her, reminding Laura of the way the earth smelled after a spring shower. 

“So, are you busy later?” Danny tilted her head to the side, her clear green eyes fixed on Laura’s hazel ones. 

Laura forgot how to breathe for a moment. _Oh my gosh, is she actually asking me out on a date?_ Laura forced her lungs to work, inhaling Danny’s perfume. The fragrance made her giddy.

“I just need to call my dad, but after that I’m totally free!” Laura tried to not bat her eyelashes. 

“Want to come to the Summer Society Open House in an hour? There’s food, and I bet Perry and LaF’ll be there too.” Danny reached out and placed her hand on Laura’s shoulder. “It’ll be fun.” 

Laura couldn’t think straight. The woman of her dreams was touching her. Dumbly, Laura nodded. Danny smiled. Laura's legs turned into jelly. If it were possible to die from too much happiness, Laura Hollis would already be a ghost. 

“Great! I’ll come pick you up in an hour then. You’ll be in your room, right?”

Laura nodded again, not trusting herself to speak. If she opened her mouth, she might propose on the spot. Danny gave her another eye crinkling smile and let go of Laura’s shoulder. 

“Okay then. I’m going to work out. I’ll catch you later.”

She waved and walked out of the room, the door swinging shut behind her. Laura counted to ten in her head before letting out a loud whoop. She danced around on the spot. _I’m going on a date! I’m going on a date with Danny Lawrence! I need to tell someone—oh gosh, I have to tell dad!_ Realizing just how late she was for her video call, Laura rushed out of the classroom. 

She sprinted across the campus, nearly colliding with a group of dwarves that emerged from a tunnel with a cartful of diamonds. They yelled obscenities at her as their cart overturned, diamonds rolling everywhere. Laura barely had a chance to yell “sorry!” over her shoulder as she blew past. They could deal with it. She gathered herself and took a running leap over the narrowest part of the poisonous swamp. Earlier, she saw a human student accidentally step into the mud. All that remained of him was a single molar. Clearing the swamp, Laura hurtled to her dorm and ran up the stairs. She skidded to a stop outside her room. 

Laura paused and listened carefully. She couldn’t hear anything moving inside. _Hopefully Carmilla’s gone._ Laura unlocked the door and walked in quietly. No such luck. Carmilla was sprawled out on her bed. Even asleep, she looked elegant. Her black hair fanned across Laura’s pillow, not masking her face for once. Despite her better judgment, Laura leaned forward, curiosity getting the better of her. She hadn’t really seen what Carmilla looked like. Laura carefully peered into her face. Her breath caught in her throat. Carmilla wasn’t the most beautiful woman Laura’s ever seen, but there was no denying she had a certain allure. Her shapely eyebrows, usually pulled into a frown, were relaxed, making her look much friendlier than in real life. Her lips were slightly parted, two pink rosebuds against the pale alabaster of her skin. She had a sharp nose, but it made her look rather fierce and charismatic. If Laura didn’t have such a huge crush on Danny, she was sure she’d be salivating over Carmilla. Kind of like how she was right now. But, while Danny was a warrior goddess brought to life, Carmilla was a perfectly carved statue—a female Adonis. Beautiful, but cold and inhuman. And wholly incapable of love. 

Carmilla’s eyelids flickered. Perhaps she was dreaming. _I wonder if she ever dreams of me,_ Laura thought absentmindedly. Unlike the times when they both were awake, there was no tension in between them now. The silence was relaxed, comfortable even. Carmilla looked strangely vulnerable and childlike in sleep. Laura felt an unfamiliar urge to protect her. She leaned in even closer, holding her breath. She could count her eyelashes without difficulty. Her eyes slowly traveled down to Carmilla’s lips. _I wonder if they’re as soft as they look._

Laura’s phone rang shrilly, Taylor Swift blaring from the speakers. 

Carmilla sprang up, eyes wild. She leapt off the bed and crouched next to Laura’s desk, teeth bared in a feral grimace. A growl slipped out as her eyes roved around the room. Laura squeaked and fell back against the door. Carmilla’s head snapped up at the sound.

“Oh. It’s just you,” Carmilla cautiously shifted out of her crouch and stood, brushing off her clothes. 

Laura unfroze, annoyed that Carmilla managed to scare her over nothing. She muted her phone and put her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, it’s me. Now can you please stay out of my bed? I’ve told you about a thousand freaking times to stay on your side of the room!” 

“That bunched up little face you make when you’re angry is _hilarious_ , buttercup,” Carmilla scoffed, carelessly sauntering over to the closet. She rummaged around and pulled out her bag. “I need to go to a lecture anyway.”

The door slammed behind her. Laura threw her arms in the air. _I’m going to kill her one of these days!_ But, she had to call her dad back first before committing any murders. She pulled out her laptop from her drawer and turned on the ancient computer. Drumming her fingers on the desk, Laura patiently waited for her laptop to power up. It emitted a high-pitched whistle as it turned on. She worriedly glanced at the keyboard as steam started to pour out from the edges. _I can’t believe it. I just got it fixed!_ Thankfully, the laptop stopped whistling and she managed to open the video call application. Ten notifications popped up, all of them from her father. _Yikes, I’m half an hour late!_ An incoming call lit up the screen. Laura answered.

“Laura! What happened? Where were you?” her dad’s voice, distorted by the computer, blasted out. Laura winced and turned down the volume.

“Sorry! I got held up in class,” she answered, opening a package of cookies. Snickerdoodles, her second favorite. Since _someone_ finished off all the chocolate ones. 

“Are you having trouble with your classes?” her dad’s image appeared on the screen. He looked gaunt and tanned, but otherwise healthy. She leaned forward, tracing his image tenderly with her forefinger. 

“No," Laura paused, "actually I just got asked out. On a date.” She waited, nervously crumbling her cookie in her fist.

He opened and closed his mouth. “With who?” He made an effort to sound calm.

“Danny Lawrence. She’s my Lit TA.” Laura couldn’t help smiling despite her thudding heart.

Her dad gustily exhaled. “Oh, yes I remember her. She seems nice. Human?” 

Laura groaned. “Dad. Stop this human versus monster prejudice thing you’ve got going on. Monsters are perfectly nice and if I wanted to marry one, I will. But, for the record, Danny’s human.” 

“I know Laura, I’m just joking with you," he said as he held up his hands in mock surrender. He winked. “So, where's she taking you?”

“Actually, I’m going out in a couple of minutes. She’s part of the Summer Society and she wants me to go to their Open House.” Laura got up from her seat and started rifling through her drawers, trying to find something nicer to wear than her ratty shorts and holey t-shirt. She picked up a pink top, considered for a moment, and put it back.

“That sounds fun. You should tell me how it goes. Are you eating anything besides cookies?” 

Laura pouted. “Dad, I know there are other food groups. Like grape soda.” She popped open a can and took a quick swig for effect. “How’s hunting?”

“Same old, same old. No new leads so far. It looks like the best trail we have is the Austrian one. Did you find anything yet?” He wiped his brow.

“Nope. I haven’t met a single vamp here. There’re plenty of monsters though. I’ve been interviewing them, but no one’s given me a lead. I guess I'll just have to talk to more of them.” Laura tried to not let her disappointment show. She settled on a light blue button down and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans.

Her dad sighed, running his fingers through his short hair. “That sounds good. I’m sure she’s in Austria. If she's on the move, we’d hear about it. You know, I think I’ll take a look around on parent’s weekend, which is next month, right?” 

Before Laura could answer, three knocks sounded on her door. She suppressed a dopey smile before shouting, “just a minute!” Laura turned the screen away from her and hastily threw her clothes. She tucked in her shirt and ran a comb through her hair. Her dad chuckled. 

“Why do you look so nervous?” he teased.

Laura grimaced. “I’m not nervous. I’m just trying to make a good impression.”

Danny knocked louder, and opened the door. Apparently, waiting wasn’t her strong suit. She was still in her gym clothes but man, did she look hot. Her tank top revealed her toned shoulders while her gym shorts showed every single muscle in her legs. 

“You ready?” Danny asked, stepping into the room.

“Oh! Danny, this’s my dad. Dad, Danny.” Laura vaguely gestured at Danny and the computer.

Danny’s face lit up. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Hollis. How are you doing?”

“Just fine Danny. You take care of my baby girl, you hear?”

Danny looked at Laura, arching an eyebrow. Laura blushed. 

“Uh, dad I have to go now. I’ll text you when someone gives me a lead. Bye!” She slammed the laptop shut before he could say anything else embarrassing. 

“Sorry, my dad’s just really overprotective. We aren’t going on a date or anything. We’re just going on a friend date. But, like, not a date-date,” Laura stammered, trying to fix the situation. 

Danny laughed and shrugged. 

“Don't worry about it. I like your dad. He seems cool.” Danny led Laura out of her room and down the stairs. She swung her arms with carefree abandon as they walked through the main courtyard.

“He _is_ cool. He’s, like, the best dad ever,” Laura stated, walking more quickly to match Danny’s pace. They strode through the ivy-covered archway guarding the road to the Society House. 

“Nice. What about your mom?” 

There it was. It didn’t hurt any less, no matter how many times people asked her. Laura could never anticipate when that question would come up. When it would rip out the stitches that closed the hole in her chest, stitches she carefully sewed over a decade and a half. The wound bled, choking Laura, making her dizzy. 

“She’s—she’s dead,” Laura managed to whisper.

Danny stopped, looking horrorstruck. “Oh my god, Laura, I’m so sorry! I had no idea,” She bent down and gazed at Laura’s face. When Laura wouldn’t make eye contact, she gently wrapped her arms around her and laid her cheek on top of her head. Laura closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. The dam broke. Tears overflowed her eyes, streaming down her cheeks. The aching hole threatened to suck everything into its blackness. She felt herself crumbling, fragmenting into a thousand pieces. No, she was still whole. Danny held her together. Danny, with her strong arms, didn't let her break. 

Laura took a shuddering breath. She had to tell someone how it felt. Having nightmares that always ended the same way—her mother dead and the vampire gone. Trying to look for the killer. But searching in vain for so many years. Laura didn’t know any other life. She had nothing to show for all her work. From the looks of it, she would never ever find that mysterious girl. She would never fulfill that promise she made all those years back. That she would avenge her mother. 

“A vampire killed her.” Laura felt Danny stiffen. 

“Did you find—“ Danny left the statement hanging.

“No. But my dad thinks she’s somewhere in Austria. That’s why I came to Silas. I thought the monsters would’ve heard something.” Laura tried pulling herself together, and released Danny. _I hope she doesn’t think I’m a crazy crybaby._

“Is that the lead you were talking about earlier?” 

Laura nodded. “I’ve been searching my whole life. But I’ve never found anything. It’s hopeless.” Her voice sounded hollow. “I'm a failure.” 

They stood there for a moment, letting silence fill the space between them. Danny stepped forward.

“I’ll help you.” 

Laura looked at her, confused. “What?”

“I’ll help you. I’ll ask around. Someone’s got to know something. We can start with the Summer Society girls.” Danny hesitated, taking in Laura’s tear stained face. “If you don’t want to come to the Open House, it’s okay, I get it.”

“No!” Laura hastily wiped her nose with the cuff of her shirtsleeve. “I want to come! It’s just, no one’s ever—I mean, I’ve never told anyone this besides my dad. I’m just so—shocked that you want to help. You’re the best!” Laura tried to smile and found that she could. She stepped forward and gave Danny another hug. 

Danny patted her back awkwardly. “Glad to see you're talking sense. Okay, let’s do this.”

She held out her hand and Laura took it. The dormant butterflies in Laura’s stomach fluttered again. Together, they walked toward the Society House. Danny’s hand was large and solid, like her father’s. Rough and extremely warm, it anchored Laura. She wasn’t alone anymore. She felt safe.


	9. But Tonight I'm Gonna Hold You So Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fun stuff goes down in Room 307.

They tumbled forward, falling onto the floor. She landed on top, slightly breathless. Weaving her fingers through those thick black tresses, she pulled her face closer, finally capturing those lips. A tidal wave of need washed over her, washing away all reason. Ever since freshmen orientation, they hadn’t had a single moment alone. Their lips danced a frenzied tango, each fighting for the lead. Lust boiled over, threatening to overwhelm her senses. Those lips, hot against her own, tasted of desire. Of desperation. So unbearably sweet, but absolutely forbidden. 

“Fuck.” 

They broke apart and stared at each other for a moment, panting. Wordlessly, she inched her fingertips underneath the black shirt, grazing smooth skin. She looked down at her, questioning. 

“Fuck. Me.”

The words were barely out of her mouth when she surged forward, a low moan at the back of her throat. Their lips met again, the dance faster this time. She felt her shiver, tremors running through the body beneath her. She tortuously ran her hands up her sides, twin trails of fire burning in their wake. She lifted the shirt up, inching it past her stomach, pushing it above the heaving breast, bunching the material at the pale neck. They pulled apart briefly, allowing her to pull the shirt over the dark head. Her own tank top quickly followed, landing somewhere behind them.

She felt the thin legs spread beneath her, accommodating her hand that snaked down. They didn’t have much time before she had to leave. She traced the smooth bottom lip with her tongue as she deftly slipped her fingers under the waistband of those insanely tight pants. She felt strong hips buck up, seeking anything that would grant release. Feather light fingers trailed up her back, unclipping her bra. It joined the rest of the clothing scattered on the floor. 

Unbuttoning those pants, she pulled them off with one quick motion, her own shorts hurriedly being dragged down. She bent and placed a lingering kiss on the smooth hollow of the cool throat, grinning devilishly at the soft moan. Hands ran over her inner thighs, coming close to but not touching her womanhood. She reached down and grasped those sinewy wrists, pulling them up above their heads. Her lips traveled across elegantly curved collarbones, leaving soft kisses. They hovered, tauntingly, over the gentle swell of a breast. She considered for a moment. Bit down tenderly. Almost violently, the hands broke out of her grasp. One coming down to grip her waist, the other gliding past her navel. Past decency.

Golden rays of sunlight streamed through the window, illuminating their tangled forms on the floor. They moved slowly, sensuously. Breathed in quick staccatos. Fingers brushing with broken rhythms over satiny bedewed skin. She threw her head back, her vision flickering black around the edges. Pressure mounting. Their hips rocked faster, meeting each other halfway. Pressure building. Gripping each other so tightly, like drowning sailors and their lifelines. Afraid to let go and drift away into the vast expanse of the sea because nothing— _nothing_ should feel as good as this. They arched their backs. Trembled in harmony. Fingers rubbed, hard. Strangled gasps—she couldn’t tell from whom—inflamed every nerve ending on her body. She felt _alive_. Two quick thrusts. They followed each other over the edge of the world. 

Falling.

Weightless. 

Utterly spent.

“Fuck.” She whispered it so quietly, with reverence. They stayed silent for a while, thudding hearts beating against one another. She raised herself onto her elbows. Carefully brushing the black hair out of the black eyes, she pressed a soft kiss to those red, red lips. 

“I have to go back to her.” She gave her another slow kiss before reluctantly propelling herself up. Shrugging into her clothes, she willed herself not to look down, or else she might never leave. But, the other girl laughed, forcing her to stare.

“Give her my—," here she paused in all her naked glory, stretching sinuously on the floor, ” _regards_.”

 _Holy fuck_. She pursed her lips and smoothed down her tank top and shorts, trying to hide the quivering in her hands. Not changing out of her gym clothes was a good idea. She didn’t want anyone to smell _her_. 

“I really hope she joins Summer Society. Cause when she does…“ Danny turned toward the door.

“This room will be mine. And when it is…” Carmilla’s husky voice hung in the air, heavy with implications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason why I had to change the story's rating. Thanks for reading =] Tell me what you think.
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	10. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura figures some stuff out. Took her long enough in my opinion.

“Yeah, so I’m about done with the heart. I need to get someone to transplant it in me, and then I’ll be one hundred percent human. I mean, don’t get me wrong, being a robot with a brain is cool and all, but I think it’s about time I make the transition,” Lafontaine nonchalantly said, while flicking off an invisible piece of dust from their shoulder.

Laura absentmindedly nodded, peeking at her phone again. _Where’s Danny? She said she had to pick up a package, but she’s been gone for thirty minutes. I hope she’s okay._

“Hello? Earth to Laura.” LaFontaine tapped her. 

Laura jumped. “What? Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry! I totally was listening! What did you say again?” 

LaFontaine laughed and shook their head pityingly, as if they knew exactly what was bothering Laura. 

“Danny’ll be back soon. She probably ran into an ogre or something—,“ Laura gave a horrified squeak and clutched their arm tightly. “Don’t worry! She’s fine. She’s a huntress after all.”

Laura took a deep breath and released their arm. It was disconcerting, realizing that she wasn’t the only monster hunter around. Laura didn’t doubt that Danny could take care of herself. It was just, complicated. She didn’t want Danny to get hurt. And fighting ogres definitely qualified as something dangerous.

“So, what do you think of Summer Society?” LaFontaine tried changing the subject.

“Oh! It’s, uh, great,” Laura tried to muster some excitement, but couldn’t. 

“You can tell me the truth, you know. I’m not Danny. Why don’t you like it?” LaFontaine asked.

“I—,” Laura hesitated, internally debating whether or not to tell them. 

“I don’t judge. What’s wrong?” LaFontaine peered shrewdly at her over the rim of their red Solo cup.

“It’s kind of different from what I’m used to,” Laura finally admitted, fidgeting with her own, almost full, cup. 

“How?” 

Laura gestured around vaguely. Music blared from the speakers, playing an angry rap song. Neon lights flashed over the crowd as a group of fraternity brothers started chanting some obnoxious drinking song. A wasted girl drunkenly hobbled by, sloshing her drink everywhere and drenching Laura’s shoes. _My new white Converse! Great. Just great._

“Well, for one, I didn’t really party or drink growing up. And this isn’t really fun. For me, I guess.” Laura looked down at her stained shoes, waiting for LaFontaine to laugh at her. _God, who even says that? They must think I’m such a loser. It’s college. I’m supposed to drink and party._

“Hey, if you don’t want to drink, that’s cool. Save your liver,” LaFontaine said. They noticed Laura aimlessly swilling around the contents of her cup as she looked back up at them. 

“Yeah, but everyone does it. And I know, I shouldn’t do stuff because everyone’s doing it, but I just—I just feel like if I don’t, it’s lame.” Laura tried taking another sip, and almost threw up. 

LaFontaine abruptly grabbed her cup. They marched over to one of the trashcans and threw away both of their drinks. Performing a rigid about-face, they marched back to Laura and dragged her over to the snacks table, handing her a giant chocolate chip cookie. 

“If you don’t want to drink, don’t. I’ll keep you company. And if you don’t like the Society, don’t move here. I’ll take care of Danny if she gets mad.” 

Laura smiled at them and took a huge bite out of her cookie, the taste of chocolate flooding her mouth. It was warm and gooey, just how she liked it. _Wow, freshly baked._ She licked the crumbs off her lips.

“This is totally delicious!” Laura diffidently smiled. “And thanks for all that.” 

“No problem. And yeah, these are awesome. Perr baked them. I think she’s working on some brownies right now,” LaFontaine spoke thickly around a mouthful of cookie. 

“Does Perry always do that? Bake for everyone?” 

“Yup. She loves it,” they answered, stuffing a peanut butter cookie into their face. They swallowed with some difficulty. “Anyways, anything else bothering you?”

Laura contemplated the room for a moment. Several Society sisters ran around in skimpy leather armor, carrying bows and arrows. They leapt over chair and tables and whooped loudly as they chased several fraternity guys around. 

“Well, everyone’s just so fit around here. And tall. And good looking. But I’m not,” Laura answered, breaking off another piece of cookie and cramming it into her mouth. “Danny says I eat too many polysyllabic chemicals, but I mean come on, they’re delicious!” 

“Don’t change then. And don’t live here. You don’t want to regret your first year of college trying to fit into some arbitrary ideal of beauty,” their fingers sketching air quotes around “beauty.” 

“What’re you guys talking about? Regret what?”

Laura whipped her head around. Danny stood there, in all her muscular glory. She looked like she flat out sprinted a mile. Her clothes stuck to her body, which was dripping with sweat. Perry stood next to her, trying to wipe her down with a package of baby wipes. 

“Er, no regrets. None at all! Right, LaF?” Laura prayed to all the gods both known and unknown that Danny didn’t hear her dissing the Summer Society. 

“We were talking about Summer Society.” LaFontaine gave her a pointed look, moving to drape an arm over Perry’s shoulders. 

“Oh, cool! Do you like it? You can settle in tonight if you want. If Carmilla’s too much of a handful.” Danny winked at Laura. 

“Uh—,” Laura stuttered. Her brain shut down, as it was wont to do whenever pretty girls winked at her.

“Laura. Seriously?” LaFontaine sounded annoyed. They turned to Danny. “Laura was just telling me that she actually wanted to try to work things out with Carmilla before giving up and moving here.”

Laura glared them, feeling a mix of gratitude and irritation. _What’s LaF doing? But, this’s probably a good idea. I can’t pretend to like partying and beer forever._ Danny gave her a stare. Laura’s stomach knotted uncomfortably. _She looks angry. Should I just say I want to live here? But LaF’s going to cut in again, and I don’t want Danny to know I don’t like the Summer Society. It’s probably better this way._

“Yeah, LaF’s right. I don’t think I tried hard enough with Carmilla—,” Laura tried to explain.

“But you’ve been complaining this whole time! Saying you wanted to transfer. What gives?” Danny’s voice sounded incredulous and gloomy at the same time. Laura’ stomach gave a flip. _She’s actually sad I won’t be living with her?_

“I, uh, my dad wants me to cut her some slack.” The blatant lie made Laura’ skin crawl, but she remained resolute. _LaFontaine’s right. I don’t want to be here._

“Well, okay then. Just know you can move in anytime.” Danny resignedly huffed. 

_Move in anytime. Move in. Move in day._ A chain of memories burst into Laura’s mind, triggered by Danny’s words. Move in day. The first time she stepped on Silas. The first time she left her dad to do investigative reporting on who killed her mother. The first time Carmilla looked at her in the face. That morning came rushing back. Carmilla’s face swimming into view as she fainted. Laura didn’t know why it took so long to put two and two together. _The strange woman—no, vampire._ Laura closed her eyes, pulling an image of Carmilla to the forefront of her mind. Compared the two likenesses. _Oh, God, oh my God._

“Guys, this is going to sound crazy, but the vampire that killed my mother—she looks a lot like Carmilla.” Laura struggled to quell the rising hysteria in her throat.

“What? Carmilla, a vampire? There are no such things as vampires!” Perry hissed, her eyes roving madly over the room, as if she were afraid someone else heard.

“Your mom’s dead?” LaFontaine’s eyes grew huge. 

Laura forgot she didn’t tell Perry and LaFontaine about her mother’s death. But she didn’t have time for this. Spurred on by her revelation, Laura blurted out what was unconsciously bothering her ever since she set eyes on Carmilla. 

“Do you guys think…she—Carmilla—killed my mom?”

Laura sought out Danny’s eyes with her own, seeking their warmth and reassurance. Instead, she found undiluted fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this. Sorry it was kind of a boring chapter. But action shall soon commence. If anyone is interested in learning more about LaFontaine's quest for a human body: [LaFontaine's Laboratory](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4563558/chapters/10390776)
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	11. Nothing Gold Can Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you call a hook-up break?

Carmilla sat on Laura’s bed with her leather sketchpad, casting her mind around for something to draw. Her eyes roved around the room, picking out mundane items. A blue square shaped mug. An open package of snickerdoodle cookies. A derelict laptop sitting on the desk. _Not good enough._ A picture of Laura and her dad traipsing through the Alps caught her eye. Laura looked happy, happier than she’s ever seen her, a mischievous grin lighting up her features. Her father, rugged and handsome, smiled beside her, giving the camera a thumbs up. She scooted closer, nose almost touching the wall. _I wonder that’s like, having someone you could talk to. About anything._

She looked down at the yellowing paper, her charcoal stick smudging her fingers. _That’s good enough._ Raising her hand, she let the stick slide over the smooth surface, drawing in broad steady strokes. A rough outline of a face appeared. Quick brushes produced eyes, lips, a small scrunched up nose. She hummed to herself, Rachmanioff’s _Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini Eighteenth Variation_. ([Click here for the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_BArG3ollw)) 

Carmilla didn’t hear the frantic footsteps in the hallway, too absorbed in the lines blossoming across her canvas. The door banged open, startling her. She accidentally crushed the charcoal between her thumb and forefinger. _Was zum Teufel!_ Cursing fluently under her breath, she examined the ugly streak slicing through her drawing. 

“What the fuck are you?”

 _Danny. Merde a Dieu._

“You just made me screw up a perfectly good drawing,” she replied calmly. 

Danny, framed in the doorway, scowled at her, limbs akimbo. 

“Are you a vampire?”

 _So direct. So Danny._

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Carmilla shifted slightly on the bed, turning over the paper. _Why am I even drawing Laura?_

“Don’t play dumb. Laura thinks you’re a vampire and I want to know why she thinks that.” 

Carmilla froze for the tiniest of milliseconds. _I didn’t know it were possible for vampires to feel cold._ She gave Danny a calculating smirk. 

“Do I look like a vampire to you?”

Danny hesitated. Carmilla smiled grimly, relying on pop culture to work in her favor. 

“Well, you go out into the sun, and you eat normal food.”

“Exactly.”

Danny slumped against the doorframe, some of her suspicion leaving her. Carmilla regarded her silently. _I’ve had over three hundred years to practice lying. But I’m not that good._

“Laura fainted when she saw you, which sort of fits in with what she told me.”

“What did she say?” 

“That someone who looks like you killed her mom. And that someone was a vampire.”

A dull memory tugged at Carmilla’s mind. Sun, a drained corpse, a father and his young daughter. _Could she be that little girl? What is she doing here? No, that is too big of a coincidence._ She kept her expression carefully neutral, not betraying the tumultuous memories that roiled within her. _But, perhaps I need to be more careful._

“Well, I guess you’re not a vampire,” Danny concluded, taking in Carmilla’s blank face. 

_She does not want to believe that I am what I am._

Danny straightened up and advanced towards the bed, a hungry gleam in her eyes. 

_I should not do this with her anymore._

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m in the middle of something.” 

Danny halted mid-stride. 

“When has ever that stopped you?”

“Now.”

Danny looked down at Carmilla. Seemed to really see her for the first time.

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me I’m just another ‘study buddy’ of yours.”

Carmilla simply cocked an eyebrow before contemplating her ruined sketch. 

_She means nothing to me._

Picking up another stick of charcoal, she started anew, tracing careful lines on the paper.

 _She is nothing._

Carmilla only looked up when the door slammed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The song Carmilla was humming: [Rachmanioff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini 18th Variation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_BArG3ollw). One of my favorite pieces. I don't own the song or the video.
> 
> I wrote a short oneshot of Danny and her feelings a few days after this breakup. You can read it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5465666).
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	12. Let's Get Down To Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's girling the hell up.

“I’m so sorry about your mom, Laura. If you ever need someone to talk to, I host therapy sessions every Friday. Feel free to come,” Perry emphatically stated, hugging Laura. 

Laura sighed into Perry’s shoulder. _Weekly therapy sessions aren’t what I need._ Perry just clutched her more tightly. Her warmth melted Laura’s icy front just a tad. _I guess she’s trying to help._

“Thanks Perry. Maybe I’ll come next Friday.”

Perry released her and patted her head, making Laura feel ridiculously young. 

“How about I wrap some brownies for you to take home?” she asked, producing a plastic bag from her pocket. 

“That sounds great,” Laura replied, giving her a small smile. 

Perry bustled towards the kitchen, gently pushing a drunk couple out of her way. Laura watched her go, unsure of what to feel. 

“You can crash in my room if you want,” LaFontaine offered. It was kind of scary, how accurately they could read Laura. 

Laura mused for a moment. _Do I really want to sleep in the same room as my mom’s potential murderer? What if Carmilla decides she wants a snack in the middle of the night?_ Her father’s face wormed its way into her mind, his eyes dark with worry. She could imagine what he’d say right now. _Stay back, Laura. Let me take care of this._ She hated that feeling. That people thought she was incapable of fighting her own battles. That she wasn’t good enough to win. She shook her head fiercely. _I can handle it._

“It’s okay. I’m going to do some digging. Carmilla doesn’t know anything, so maybe I can pick something up if I act all normal.”

LaFontaine scrutinized her face closely, their blue-gray eyes boring into hers. Whatever they found must have pleased them because they held up their hand for a high five. 

“I like that.” 

Laura slapped their hand, happy. _I love LaF._ An even bigger grin appeared on her face when Perry emerged with a bag bulging with brownies. 

“Thanks so much Perry! I’ll try not to eat them all tonight,” Laura giggled. She wasn’t entirely exaggerating. 

“It’s okay if you do. Perr loves any excuse to bake.” LaFontaine elbowed Perry playfully, giving her an adoring look. She blushed and smacked their head lightly, her lips curving into a shy smile.

Laura took that as her cue to leave. She walked out of the Society House, the crisp fall air making her shiver slightly. She neglected to bring a jacket, so she rolled down the sleeves of her button down and crossed her arms over her chest. _I wonder if those two even noticed me leave._ She forgave them if they didn’t. _They’re so cute together. I wonder if Danny and I will ever be that cute._ She frowned slightly. Danny left for the second time that night without any explanations and hardly a backwards glance at Laura. She tried not to let it get to her. _Maybe she’s feeling sick. She didn’t look that great when I told them about Carmilla. I guess it was kind of a lot to take in, although LaF and Perr seemed okay._ Laura chuckled when she remembered Perry adamantly denying that vampires existed, only for LaFontaine to pull up research article after article on vampiric biology. _It’s hard to argue with science._

Lost in her thoughts, she slowly wandered back down the path to her dorm. The campus, suffused with pale moonlight, looked very different at night. For one, nocturnal flora sprang up in random places. A large patch of polka dotted toadstools sat innocently beside the Lustig Theater. When she walked past, the nearest mushroom suddenly lunged at her, extending its long mycelium. Laura nimbly hopped over the ghostly white tendrils and continued on her way, opening the bag of brownies. She stuffed one in her mouth, dodging the carnivorous dandelions that dotted the courtyard. 

Making it to her building unscathed, she swiped her ID card and climbed up the three flights of stairs to her room. Pausing in front of her door, she fumbled in her pockets for her keys. Her nose wrinkled. _That smell. It’s like Danny’s perfume. But that’s impossible._ She shook the thought out of her head and pulled out her key. Inserting it into the lock, Laura didn’t hear a satisfying click. _It’s already unlocked? Carmilla must be in there._ Laura hesitated for a second, blind panic nearly overtaking her senses. _Be cool. You’re a journalist. She doesn’t know anything._ Squaring her shoulders, she turned the knob and swiftly stepped into the dimly lit room. 

Unsurprisingly, Carmilla sat on her bed, a large worn sketchpad balanced on her thighs. She was wearing a black shirt with the sleeves roughly cut off. Her legs, encased in dark tights, stretched out in front of her.

“I thought I told you I’m busy.” 

“Huh?” Laura asked, confused. _She never said that._

She walked up to her bed, the lamp illuminating her from behind. Carmilla turned her head slightly when Laura approached, silky waves of black framing her face. 

“Never mind.” She looked back down at her sketch, her fingers flexing nervously. 

Laura glanced over her pale shoulder, intrigued. With one fluid motion, Carmilla flipped the paper over, hiding her drawing from view. 

“Why can’t I see it?” Laura demanded, slightly hurt. 

Carmilla leaned back into Laura’s yellow pillow, her face completely in shadow. She seemed to be thinking hard. Laura drummed her fingers against her hip, waiting for an answer.

Abruptly, in a motion so fast it almost didn’t exist, Carmilla stood, mere millimeters away from Laura.

Laura took a frantic step back, shock reverberating throughout her body. 

Carmilla spoke.

“Well, I have to keep some of my secrets.”

She languidly glided into the lamplight, its soft brilliance illuminating her face. Laura inhaled, her sharp intake of breath thunderous in the quiet room. 

Carmilla spoke again.

“Otherwise, I’d lose my air of mystery, won’t I?” 

She looked directly at Laura. 

Blood pounded in Laura’s ears, as heat saturated her face. Carmilla looked even more breathtaking awake than asleep. Laura waited for the seizure, the fainting. They never came. All she could think of was how _gentle_ Carmilla’s eyes were as they gazed at her. How beautifully her skin glowed in the golden light. How absolutely _human_ she seemed in this moment. She looked so different from the memories of the vicious, furtive vampire Laura harbored in her mind. _Like comparing apples to oranges._

“I don’t think you’ll ever lose that air of mystery.” Laura clasped her hands over her mouth. _Crap, why did I say that?_

“Oh really?” Carmilla seductively whispered, slightly tilting her head, a strange look in her ebony eyes. “Aren’t you a journalist? Shouldn’t you be _trying_ to figure me out?” 

“Uh—,” Laura forgot how to speak English. _Damn._ She didn’t know what she’d do if Carmilla could read her as accurately as LaFontaine could.

Carmilla gave a throaty laugh, biting her bottom lip as she peered into Laura’s soul. 

“Yes, cupcake?”

 _Why’s Carmilla doing this? What is she even doing? Oh God, is she flirting with me?_ Laura said the first thing that came to mind.

“You. Me. Bed. Now.”

Carmilla raised an elegantly curved eyebrow. 

“Shouldn’t you buy me dinner first?” 

Laura tore her eyes away and rolled them with difficulty.

“We’re playing Twenty Questions. You know, like a roommate bonding thing. Cause we got off on the wrong foot. And you’re being surprisingly nice and talkative all of a sudden. So, we should start again.” Laura promptly kicked off her shoes and plunked herself down on her bed. That seemed like as good of a way as any to get to know Carmilla a little better without arousing too much suspicion. 

Laura half expected Carmilla to say no. To her surprise, she also sat down, so gracefully it looked choreographed.

“Fine, but I am allowed to ask you questions too,” she purred.

That brought Laura up short. She didn’t think Carmilla cared enough to ask questions about her life. 

“Okay. You go first then.” Laura stared at her bedspread, trying and failing to keep her eyes off Carmilla. 

“Where is your mother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still kind of figuring out directions for this story to go. Give me comments/suggestions/stuff you guys want to see. I won't be able to update for two weeks as I'll be traveling. Thanks for your support and for reading! =]
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	13. No Real Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura tries to interrogate Carmilla.

Well, that was quick. Laura didn’t expect Carmilla to cut straight to the chase. It was probably a good thing that Laura already told the story about her mother earlier in the day because she only felt a fleeting twinge of residual pain, nothing more. 

“She’s dead.” Laura said bluntly, trying to gauge Carmilla’s reaction. 

Carmilla stayed silent for a while.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said. She glanced at Laura through her dark bangs, offering her a small, sad smile, more of a grimace than anything. 

“It’s okay. _You_ didn’t kill her,” Laura countered, surreptitiously focusing her eyes on Carmilla’s face, trying to discern any incriminating emotions. 

“But still, I’m sorry. I—,” Carmilla hesitated, her face betraying nothing, “I have also dealt with loss.” 

_Wow, she’s actually sharing without me asking?_ Flabbergasted, Laura plowed on. 

“What happened?” 

“My entire family was murdered.” 

_Well, fuck._

Laura did not know what to say. 

_She sure one-upped me._

Carmilla looked away then, her eyes roving around the room. Laura watched her, debating within herself. 

_Screw it._

Laura shifted closer to Carmilla and tentatively reached out her right hand. Her fingers hovered uncertainly before gently brushing Carmilla’s smooth palm, intertwining themselves with those slender fingers. Carmilla tensed immediately, her eyes anxiously flickering down to their interlocked hands. 

_Is this too forward? I mean, she did have a problem looking at me until five minutes ago,_ Laura thought, the memories of that wooly balaclava coming back to her. She was torn between wanting to comfort Carmilla, but not wanting to give her an heart attack. 

A beat.

 _I should let go. Before she thinks I’m a creep._ Laura tried to wriggle her fingers away.

Almost imperceptibly, Carmilla’s hand tightened.

Laura exhaled slowly, marveling at how perfectly their hands fit, like they were meant for each other to hold. Like two puzzle pieces. They held hands for a while in companionable silence. She watched Carmilla absentmindedly draw patterns on the comforter, the lamplight gently wreathing her face. 

_Her skin’s so soft. I wonder what lotion she uses._ Strange fluttering sensations took place in her chest as Carmilla started tracing circles on the back of her hand with her thumb. These feelings felt nothing like the butterflies Danny gave her. If anything, they felt more pleasant. 

_What? No, no, no! I like Danny. Carmilla’s just—just a friend…yeah friend. Totally just a friend. These are normal, friendly feelings. Friendly butterflies._

In her panic, Laura saw many things she should not have seen. She tried not to see exactly how Carmilla’s lashes fluttered when she blinked, how her brow made that adorable crease when she was thinking. How her lips curved upwards at the corners, like she actually smiled a lot but didn’t want to show it. How impossibly clear her skin looked, like she spent hours on skincare routines and millions on anti-wrinkle products. How nicely curved her nails were, and how perfectly her deep burgundy nail polish coated them. 

Carmilla slowly raised her head, deep brown eyes meeting light hazel ones. 

Laura _definitely_ did not notice the way Carmilla gazed at her. 

Like she actually _cared._

Like Laura actually _mattered._

Carmilla was still looking at her, soulful eyes burning holes in Laura’s original suspicions. Vampire accusations flew out the window, as well as reason and logic.

 _How could a murderer have so much compassion in her soul?_

Carmilla raised her free hand and gently pushed a few strands of hair out of Laura’s face, tucking them behind her ear.

_Oh sweet baby Jesus._

Laura doubted Carmilla ever met her mother. Let alone killed her. She lowered her head, finally wrenching her eyes from Carmilla’s as she tried to process these new and very confusing feelings. 

That’s how she missed the slight quirk in Carmilla’s lips, the thinly veiled mirth in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading =]
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	14. Reevaluation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Laura thinks Carmilla is cuddly.

So, maybe having Carmilla as a roommate wasn’t the _worst_ thing in the world. 

She could be surprisingly understanding. And … cuddly. Laura was working on a midterm project at three in the morning when she began nodding off. Her head drooped lower and lower, finally resting on her TARDIS mug of hot chocolate. She started dreaming of a gigantic cookie that wanted to avenge his digested brethren by eating her. Laura woke up screaming bloody murder. 

In retrospect, Laura found it odd that Carmilla was by her side as she woke up. 

Perhaps Carmilla was studying next to her and wanted to use the desk. Or maybe Carmilla had super speed. Regardless of how she got there, Carmilla was there. And she gathered Laura up in her surprisingly muscular arms and carried her to the bed, laying Laura’s head softly down on her yellow pillow. Laura had clutched at Carmilla’s grey shirt, the soft fabric feeling like home. Carmilla gently untangled Laura’s fingers but didn’t let go of her hand. She carefully lowered her body onto the bed, and wrapped an arm safely around Laura’s waist. Laura stiffened for a moment before yielding and curling up next to Carmilla. Carmilla threaded her fingers through Laura’s hair, humming some old lullaby. Laura started mumbling an apology for being so childish and lame, but Carmilla placed three fingers on her lips, shushing her. She pulled Laura closer, burying her face in Laura’s hair. 

Carmilla’s nose felt cool, the numbness spreading through Laura’s body like a healing salve, wiping away all of her crippling fear. Laura slowly relaxed, sleep finally retaking her. Fighting to keep her eyelids open, Laura relented. The last thing she felt was Carmilla’s fingers tracing asymmetrical patterns on her skin. 

The bed was cold when Laura awoke. But as she blearily sat up, her fingers brushed against a stiff piece of paper. It read, in elegantly curving script: _Went to get breakfast._ Laura didn’t expect much. Maybe an apple. Possibly some granola. But Carmilla surprised her. She came back in a whirl of leather and sunglasses, two perfectly toasted bagels with lox and cream cheese paired with a steaming cup of hot chocolate in her hands, and the school newspaper tucked under her arm. They’d shared the bagels and taken turns drinking from the cup while Carmilla read Laura the editorials. 

Laura forgave Carmilla for not using the chore wheel then and there.

Carmilla could also be helpful. There was that time when Laura totally spilled hot chocolate over her handwritten lit paper. Laura pulled two all nighters finishing that paper as it was one of her final projects for that class. It really wasn’t her fault that she got so behind on work. _I mean, I went to Danny for help but all she wanted to do was watch Doctor Who with me and laugh about Carmilla, which isn’t really the nicest thing to do. But I guess if someone doesn’t really know Carmilla, it could be easy to make judgments._ Long story short, study sessions with Danny had turned into full blown TV show marathons which did nothing to advance Laura’s paper. 

And she paid for it. Laura thought that at the end of the second night, there was probably more caffeine in her veins than actual blood, but she’d have to get LaF to test that out to be certain. Anyways, so Laura finally got the paper done and bound it using Perry’s book binder (which, by the way, had some super weird attachments all over it, courtesy of LaF’s crazy obsession with efficiency). But the instant she let out a whoop after flipping through the completed damn thing, she accidentally hip checked her TARDIS mug and spilled delicious, dark Belgium cocoa all over her literary masterpiece. 

Laura stayed rooted to the spot with shock. _Did that just happen? Am I dreaming? Please, God, let me be dreaming. I freaking hand wrote that whole thing after my laptop died on me!_ But Carmilla sprang into action. Again, Laura couldn’t be sure if she was just super oblivious and Carmilla was just standing next to her when this happened, or if somehow Carmilla flew across the room, but all _she_ knew was Carmilla tore off the soaking wet title page before the hot liquid could penetrate and handed the rest of the mercifully spotless paper to Laura. Laura had dissolved into a messy puddle of tears, groveling at Carmilla’s feet and professing her thanks to the heavens, which admittedly wasn’t the _most_ professional thing she could’ve done. But Carmilla simply sat her down in a chair, made her a strong cup of tea, and sent Laura to class.

Laura forgave Carmilla for the constantly clogged shower drain after that. 

Carmilla could also be loyal and brave. Laura went to the Zeta Omega Mu frat party, at Danny’s behest. Danny couldn’t attend because she was taking care of her sick sisters since a strain of antibiotic-resistant bacteria caught hold of the Summer Society House. Danny had texted Laura and asked—no rather demanded Laura come to the Society House and to bring LaFontaine with her. LaF immediately started taking bacteria samples and setting up cultures while Danny sent Laura some Summer Society paraphernalia and instructed her to show up at the party and act as the Summer’s liaison. 

Laura reluctantly agreed. She didn’t really know why she agreed. She wasn’t sure if she still felt the same way about Danny as she had two months ago. But, she still went because she was a good friend. _And friends do things for each other no matter how rude they are. Right?_ Laura had thought it troubling she had a hard time convincing herself, but pushed her worries aside.

She didn’t want to go alone into a fraternity house filled to the brim with unapologetic, loud musclemen. So, she dragged Carmilla along. Laura could’ve sworn that Carmilla originally was interested in the party, but the instant Laura suggested going together, Carmilla had started rolling her eyes and making gagging sounds. Laura had almost backed off. Until she realized Carmilla actually did want to go but still hated agreeing with her all the time, which she was doing a lot lately. Laura grinned then and redoubled her efforts, ignoring Carmilla’s exaggerated miming of puking into the toilet. 

Laura won. 

And that explained why both of them were standing on the stoop of the Zeta house and why Laura rang the doorbell when Carmilla wouldn’t. The instant Laura stepped into the house, something felt off. An overly excited and drunk Zeta thrust a huge pitcher of beer into her hands and slung a tan arm over her shoulders, making her stagger against the wall. The Zetas started chanting a weird drinking song that sounded suspiciously like the vampire hunters’ America’s Next Top Model anthem. 

Laura felt terrified. That’s when Carmilla stepped in. The look she gave the chanting Zetas would’ve frozen Satan’s testicles. Silence spread out from their little trio, emanating in cold ripples until the entire house went quiet. Carmilla took the pitcher from Laura and dumped it into a trashcan before frog-marching Laura out the door and back to the dorm, forcibly reminding Laura of the time LaFontaine grabbed her drink and dumped it out. Then Carmilla gave a long winded speech about peer pressure and what exactly she’d like to do to those goons in the Zeta house which made the hair on Laura’s neck stand up.

Laura grudgingly forgave Carmilla for not telling her about the closet.

Honestly, Laura realized Carmilla was a lot of things. And ninety percent of those things weren’t the greatest. Some were downright evil. But if you could look past that, well, she wasn’t too bad. Actually, Laura decided she was awesome. And maybe she was awesome because she was compassionate (she had tried to get a skinny cat to come into their dorm when the first snowfall started but got a faceful of scratches instead), giving (LaF accidentally set fire to their room and Carmilla went and bought LaF a new mattress, blankets, and a fridge), and trustworthy (Laura overheard LaF telling Carmilla they were going to ask Perry out on a surprise date and Carmilla never breathed a word even though she laughed at LaF when they were strategizing the asking part. Perry was completely taken by surprise.).

Carmilla was a lot. And Laura found herself liking all of it. Well, most of it. The messiness she could do without. But even then, sometimes when Laura sat on her bed and stared across at Carmilla’s side, there was something beautiful about the way the sheets were rumpled, the way expressive drawings lay across the desk, the way slashed skinny jeans draped over the furniture, the way scattered books dotted the floor. Carmilla, Laura decided, lived like one of those artists you read about in books. The ones who were so brilliant they laid down their things in abstract patterns that only made sense to them. The ones who could look at how something was arranged and create meaning out of that. The ones who really understood life and why people did things. Yes, Carmilla was one of _those_ people. And that, Laura thought, was enough to excuse the disorder that ruled the right side of Room 307.

Damn it. 

Laura ran her fingers through her hair, counting her breaths as she tried to arrange her memories over the past few months. 

It didn’t help that she was lying in Carmilla’s bed.

Under the sheets. 

In Carmilla’s arms. 

(Laura had another nightmare so this was totally excusable.)

She took another steadying breath. 

(Except it didn’t steady anything at all.)

“I _don’t_ like Carmilla,” Laura whispered to no one yet everyone at the same time.

The room stayed silent. Laura relaxed a tiny bit. Saying it out loud had more weight than thinking it. Especially since her own thoughts tended to negate everything about that statement. Laura closed her eyes and settled more comfortably into Carmilla’s front, pulling her arm closer around her. 

Behind her, Carmilla slowly opened one sorrowful eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry about the long wait guys =/ super busy with school nowadays. 
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I just created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	15. Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla tries to figure some stuff out. And gets a surprise visit.

Save for the birds chirping softly in the trees, silence saturated the clearing. Nary a breath of wind stirred the leaves of the shrubs surrounding the meadow. Even the stream bubbling merrily across the rocks in the middle of the clearing did so noiselessly. 

Carmilla didn’t mind. The silence allowed her to order her thoughts. It relaxed her and let her revel in the calm solitude. The AMC movie trailers were right. Silence certainly _was_ golden. Carmilla especially prized it since thinking had become increasingly difficult for her over the past few months when she was around people. Normally she could tune out the cacophony of voices surrounding her and focus within herself. But, she had lost that ability, though through no fault of her own. Every time she tried to find amity in public places, something invariably drew her thoughts away from their destined path to a certain woman. 

Laura Hollis. 

Carmilla remembered sitting outside of a tiny Parisian themed café, a newspaper flipped open to a random page. An empty cup of espresso sat next to it, dregs coating its porcelain bottom. She absentmindedly pulled apart a much too sugary chocolate éclair, occasionally placing a piece in her mouth. 

(Living with Laura made Carmilla partial to chocolate.) 

Carmilla glanced down at the newspaper before snorting and looking away. Worldly affairs hardly interested her nowadays. She’s seen it all before. Battles won, wars lost. Queens elected, Kings disposed. History repeating itself in a never-ending cycle. 

Her gaze wandered across the street, where a small girl sitting outside a bookshop studiously riffled through the pages of a gigantic tome. Carmilla looked at her disinterestedly, finding nothing remarkable. She looked like many of the college girls who populated the shops during this time of day—boringly brunette, overly hipster, and utterly unprepared for the world. Carmilla rolled her eyes and made to pull out her sketchpad. At that instant, the girl shifted her head forward, letting the sunlight catch her hair. The sight froze Carmilla. Resplendent golden rays turned those murky brown strands into a familiar honey gold, burning into Carmilla’s vision. A riotous jumble of emotions roared through her body despite her best efforts to quell it. 

She dropped her éclair and left.

That wasn’t the only instance when Laura rather rudely intruded into Carmilla’s thoughts. There was that other time when an old grandmother strolled down the street with two young children. Carmilla was lounging against the side of a closed bar, headphones hanging limply from her fingers. She watched as one child accidentally dropped his ice cream cone on the ground. He promptly sat down and started bawling. Carmilla huffed with annoyance and started to plug her headphones in, but before she could, the grandmother stopped and raised her hand. Instead of dealing him a sharp rap to the head as Carmilla expected, the old lady patted the little boy’s shoulder and smiled so kindly at him that Carmilla felt a pang of jealousy. But, she would have been infinitely more jealous had she not received a similar smile from her infuriatingly lovely roommate when she spilled paint on her black top the other day.

_Scheiße._

Carmilla felt irritated that a mortal girl could infiltrate her being this completely, bypassing the centuries of walls she’d built, within a mere three and a half months.

(But all the same, it _was_ rather nice.)

Not that Carmilla thought Laura special or anything. 

(Maybe that was a lie.)

 _I wonder if Laura has trouble thinking too_ , she mused.

With an extreme effort of will, Carmilla wrenched herself away from that train of thought. That’s what she needed to do today. To learn how to stop thinking about Laura and to prevent Laura from gaining more of a hold on her than she had already. 

Essentially, how not to fall deeper in love with Laura.

Seriously though, why did she not see it coming? She was, to say the least, a badass centuries old vampire who had decimated cities and toppled empires. She’s had countless harlots on her tail and spurned all of them. How, then, could a naïve provincial girl of eighteen worm her way into Carmilla’s heart and stay there? 

_Perhaps it is because I actually wanted her to_ , she murmured to herself. 

No, that couldn’t be it. What was the appeal in Laura? Carmilla thought her to be one of the most immature, green, and silly girls she’s ever had the misfortune to meet. That, combined with an addiction to sugar and tasteless pop music, made her a disastrous combination. And, Carmilla thought she had made her distaste known.

But in between bouts of roommate wars, if Carmilla was honest with herself, Laura wasn’t all that horrifying. She wasn’t judgmental. Carmilla tested that one out plenty of times by eavesdropping on Laura and her friends as they talked about their stupid human problems. Laura acquitted herself admirably, lending an honest and kind ear and giving sound advice that assumed nothing. 

Laura also was eager to please. She constantly wanted to get her “relationship with my roommate back on the right track so we should do something fun together!” She’d bought Carmilla soy milk (which at first made Carmilla want to laugh, but then strangely made her want to cry) and tried to say “hello” whenever she saw her around. It was sort of sweet, Carmilla had to admit. 

Laura also had this fanatical obsession with helping people that Carmilla found both annoying and endearing. Laura would buy a bag of burgers and go around handing them out to the homeless who populated the college town surrounding Silas. Carmilla didn’t even realize what she was doing as she handed burgers to an old man leaning against the wall of a popular diner until he thanked her by kissing her hand. Afterwards, she had to terrorize a group of freshmen to try to get her street cred back. But the damage was done. 

Laura inadvertently made her want to be a better person.

Carmilla forcibly reminded herself that the reason why she spent so much time around Laura was because Laura certainly was a good choice for a rebound after Danny.

(That thought actually made her feel sick.)

Using Laura just didn’t feel right. And that worried Carmilla. Because that probably meant Carmilla actually felt something for Laura. 

_Seriously, what’s wrong with me_ , Carmilla muttered in her head, frustrated that this was one aspect of her life that she absolutely needed to control yet had no control over.

“Something bothering you Kitty?” a male voice drawled.

Carmilla rolled her eyes and pushed her hand through her hair, outwardly appearing disaffected. Inwardly, a spike of fear drove its way through her brain. 

_When did he get here? I didn’t even hear him come._

“The only thing wrong with me right now is the fact that you’re in _my_ clearing, Will.”

Will chuckled and stepped out from behind a tree, advancing slowly toward Carmilla. She stood up with a feline grace, muscles tensed in anticipation.

“Be careful Kitty. Don’t want to let your temper get the best of you,” he cautioned.

Carmilla scoffed and thrust her hands in her leather jacket pockets. Will stopped right in front of her, his fetid breath overpowering her senses. She noticed he wore an extremely tight fitting muscle top that looked like it was painted onto his torso. That annoyed her. _Why bother even wearing a top then? Just take off your God damned shirt._

“What do you want, Will?” 

“Nothing. I just wanted to come say hi to my darling sister.”

“Very funny. Cut the crap and spit it out.”

He narrowed his eyes before abandoning his pretenses. 

“Stone cannot love flesh.”

She flashed him half a grin, exposing one fang. 

“It’s not like I haven’t heard that one before. Did you come up with it on your own? No, wait, let me guess. You’re too dumb to do that so you got it from Mother.”

Will curled his hands into fists before relaxing and smiling back, baring his fangs as well.

“Yeah, I got it from Mother. I understand that was the last thing Ell heard before—“

Carmilla backhanded him across the face before he could finish. He flew across the clearing and landed against the base of a tree, crumpling to the ground. This time, she was the one to advance towards him, hands tensed like claws and bloodlust in her eyes. 

“If you want to live, don’t you ever say that name again. Do you hear me?” she screamed, reaching down and hoisting him into the air by his throat.

Will gurgled and wrestled with her iron fingers, desperately trying to squirm free. She relaxed her hold a tiny bit, allowing him to speak. 

“You can’t kill me. Otherwise Mother will kill you,” he sputtered.

“I wish to die.”

Will paused and looked down at her, cocking an eyebrow knowingly. 

“No, you don’t.” 

“Do not presume to tell me what I value.”

“I’m not. You wouldn’t want to die because then, you can’t protect _her_.”

Carmilla’s insides turned into ice. 

_No._

Will continued to struggle in vain, trying to break her fingers.

_No. No. No._

His soundless gasps fell on her dead ears.

_Is this what it feels like to drown?_

Will kicked at her, his blows barely registering.

_She cannot have her._

Carmilla dropped Will onto the ground. He gagged and rubbed his throat as she stared over his head. Brushing dirt from his pants, he slowly got up, smirking the entire time. He straightened and squeezed her shoulder painfully, sinking his nails deep into her skin. 

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

He smiled again when she did not deign to respond. Tauntingly, Will released her. He winked roguishly before stepping away, slowly backing into the dense tree line. 

“Remember what’s important Kitty.”

And then he was gone.

Carmilla waited, her feet rooted to the ground. Cold drops of rain started to fall from the cloud-covered sky, pelting her relentlessly. They felt warm on her frozen body. Soft, like kisses from the lips she once loved. 

_Was William jesting?_

She felt the bile rise in her throat. She bent over and retched. 

_How did Mother know?_

The cold came now. Carmilla shivered violently, dry heaves wracking her body. 

_I have become lax._

She collapsed on the ground, her hair splaying across her face in chaotic tangles. A chill night breeze blew through the clearing, cleaving its way through the shimmering curtain of raindrops. She lay still, barely breathing. Twin rivulets of tears ran down her face, mingling with the cold drops of rain. The water drenched her to her bones, icy daggers twisting themselves into her skin. 

She welcomed the pain. 

_Ell, I failed you._

Her fingers involuntarily twitched as she tried to move them, sharp stabs of pain lancing along her extremities. 

_I am so sorry._

Tongues of icy fire writhed through her body, making her spasm. But she didn’t mind. For every agonizing second felt like an apology to the girl in white she had loved long ago.

_You did not die in vain. I have learned from my mistakes._

Her breath came out in puffs of white as the cold consumed her. A dull throbbing built up at the base of her skull. 

_They will not take my Laura too._

And there she remained, unmoving.

Gradually, the rain stopped. Murky puddles of water no longer rippled with fresh drops. Another gust of wind swept her hair clear of her eyes, allowing her to see the few stars twinkling among the tempestuous clouds. Carmilla pushed herself up onto her elbows. She sighed and sat up gingerly, feeling like her muscles were made from glass. The engorged brook murmured quietly in the background, sweeping away storm tossed debris. She carefully wrapped her arms around her legs and gazed at the sky, the brilliant stars reflected in her eyes. 

_To think the universe is still expanding._

She trembled, feeling smaller than ever. 

_How lonely must it be to live so far apart from your brethren, and to be growing further apart still._

Normally, the stars comforted Carmilla. 

But tonight, she only felt emptiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I wrote a little backstory about Ell and Carmilla which you can read [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4625091/chapters/11946434). 
> 
> Also, [here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr that I created. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.


	16. One Sided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura go on an outing. Flashback for the most part. Slipped in some references to the actual novel by J.S. Le Fanu. Also, pay attention to the dates (The first part of Ch. 16 took place roughly 2 weeks before the events in Ch. 15. The ending of Ch. 16 took place 2 days after the events in Ch. 15). My apologies if that was super confusing.
> 
> Let me know what you all think =]

“Please explain to me why we’re deliberately wandering around a village on a cold afternoon when we could be in a warm bed watching movies?” Carmilla grumbled, her breath coming out in puffs of white.

“Aw, come on Carm! We’ve already gone through my entire Harry Potter movie set. We can’t just sit there forever,” Laura brightly replied, looping one of her arms through Carmilla’s. 

Carmilla muttered something under her breath that sounded like, “I bet I could.”

Laura stopped walking and pouted, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. Carmilla looked at her, black eyebrows beetling into a V. Laura only pouted harder, sliding her hand down Carmilla’s arm until she found her hand. 

“Please, Carm?”

Carmilla huffed and looked around the empty street before turning back to Laura.

“Okay, fine! I’ll pretend I’m enjoying myself. Where do you want to go?” 

Laura squealed and tugged Carmilla up the street. They ambled on the sidewalk, two sets of boots clacking over cold cobblestones. Laura window-shopped as they passed by each boutique, leaning into Carmilla’s warm side. Occasionally she’d point something out to Carmilla who would scoff and gripe about the state of Austria’s excessive consumerism. 

A bitter wind blasted through the road, roaring over Laura and Carmilla. Laura shivered violently, her thin jacket no match for the cold. Carmilla unlatched her hand from Laura’s and reached up to her thick muffler. She unwound the woolen scarf from around her neck and draped half of it over Laura’s shoulders. Laura giggled and wrapped the muffler tightly around both of their necks, effectively fettering them together. 

“Look, Carm! We’re chained to each other,” Laura gleefully said, her nose an inch away from Carmilla’s. 

Carmilla smiled back, eyes crinkling at the corners. Laura’s heart danced wildly in her chest as she blushed. In the back of her mind, she compared it to the times when Danny looked at her. 

(There was no comparison.)

Laura thought Carmilla’s eyes were the loveliest shade of chocolate brown she had ever seen. Beautifully clear yet infinitely deep, they pulled her in. Carmilla just looked so _nice_ when she smiled. Laura wondered why she didn’t do it more often.

“I don’t mind being chained to you, cupcake. But, you still haven’t answered my question. Where exactly are we going?” Carmilla prodded as she wrapped an arm around Laura’s shoulders. 

Laura grinned and started walking again, cozily nestled up against Carmilla. 

“Well, my dad’s visiting soon and I’m trying to find a present for him. I heard there was a good store—oh here it is!” Laura shouted suddenly, pointing at something behind Carmilla.

Carmilla turned and saw a tiny shop tucked away in a corner. The store had a slightly sinister air to it. The storefront was painted entirely in black, so dark, in fact, no light reflected off the walls. All the windows were covered with heavy drapes, completely obscuring the interior of the shop. A wooden sign hanging from the eaves creakily swayed in the wind, its paint peeling off. The name of the store was all but impossible to make out. Chains wound across the door, a huge lock in the shape of a skull barricading the entrance. 

“Cutie, are you sure this is the right shop? Is it even open?” Carmilla asked skeptically, trying to look through the windows. 

“Yup, this is the place! I’m sure it’s open,” Laura responded, nonchalantly walking up to the door and towing Carmilla along by the neck.

She raised her fist to knock but the door swung inward of its own accord. Carmilla raised an eyebrow but Laura paid her no heed as they stepped over the threshold and into the dark interior of the shop. Carmilla reluctantly unwound the scarf from their necks to keep from choking.

“We should hurry, they’re closing soon,” Laura stated. 

“Laura, I don’t think we ought to—”

“Stop! Who goes there?” a thin high voice screeched before Carmilla could finish her sentence. 

Laura started to reply when Carmilla clamped a hand over her mouth, hastily dragging her back down the hallway. Before they had taken more than two steps, the door slammed shut behind them, blocking their only avenue of escape. Complete darkness blanketed the hall. Carmilla hissed and pulled Laura behind her, pressing her into the wall. Laura scrabbled at Carmilla’s arm, making indignant sounds. 

“Sh!” Carmilla settled into a defensive crouch, free hand balling up into a fist.

“I said, who goes there?” the speaker asked again. 

A sharp tapping sound sounded at the far end of the hallway. Carmilla shifted forward. Laura quit struggling. _Why’s Carm so freaked out? What’s going on?_ Carmilla removed her hand as Laura stopped trying to talk. They both waited in the shadows, hardly breathing. 

“Do I have to ask again? Who comes into my shop unannounced?” screeched the voice. 

Laura watched, wide eyed as Carmilla coiled her muscles, preparing to spring. _What is she doing? She can’t do this!_ She frantically grasped the back of her leather jacket and pulled with all her might. Carmilla stumbled backwards, crashing into Laura. They tumbled to the floor in a messy jumble of arms and legs, a large thud echoing throughout the corridor. 

Silence. 

Laura laid on top of Carmilla, unmoving. She felt Carmilla literally vibrating from tension.

A faint scratching sound greeted Laura’s ears. Before she could react, a single point of light flared brilliantly in front of her eyes, blinding her. A pair of sinewy hands lugged her upright.

“Ah ha! Now I see you! Who are you two and what are you doing in my shop?” 

Laura shielded her eyes with one hand and wildly felt around for Carmilla. Strong slender fingers wove through hers, and the familiar musky scent of smoke and spice assailed her nose as Carmilla got up and stood next to her protectively. Her hair brushed the side of Laura’s face, giving her courage.

“I’m Laura. And this is Carmilla, my friend. I just wanted to come in and look for a gift,” she said bravely. 

“Why would you want to buy a gift from me?” the voice asked, sounding suspicious. 

“Because I heard you sell the best tools around here,” Laura shot back.

Carmilla fidgeted but didn’t say anything.

“Humph. That depends on what job you would like to get done.” 

Laura took a deep breath.

“Vampire hunting.”

Carmilla started. Laura soothingly brushed the pad of her thumb over the back of Carmilla’s hand.

There was a slight pregnant pause. 

“Ah, yes, well that _is_ my specialty.” Now the voice sounded amused. “But why would a little girl like you want weapons?”

“They’re for my dad. He’s one of the best vampire hunters around and he’s raved about your shop for years. I wanted to find a gift for him when he visited for Family Weekend. Also, I’m not _little_.”

Carmilla’s fingers tensed. Laura squeezed her hand and pulled her closer, wrapping an arm securely around her waist. Carmilla leaned into Laura but did not relax her rigid posture.

“Okay, then big girl. You said your father is a hunter? I must have heard of him in that case. What is his name?” The speaker sounded more curious than anything now.

“David Hollis,” Laura said simply.

The speaker sharply sucked in her breath.

“David Hollis? Of course I know him! Why, you must be, let me see, Laura!”

The entire hallway was suddenly a blaze of light as the lanterns set in the ceiling flared to life. Laura blinked owlishly. Beside her, Carmilla stood ramrod straight. Laura rubbed her eyes as a very tall, thin woman swam into view. The woman was garbed head to toe in black leather armor. She had thick curly black hair and a rather flat face. Her nose looked like it had been smashed in a fight, while two beady eyes stared out from under bushy eyebrows. Her white teeth gleamed as she smiled.

“How do you know my dad? And my name?” Laura asked, extending her hand.

“I know everyone of importance in this business, my dear. Welcome to my shop! My name is Melissa. Please, come in! But, wait! Why is your friend here? She does not look too happy,” Melissa said, shaking Laura’s hand while looking at Carmilla.

“Carm’s just helping me pick out a present. She’s happy, she just doesn’t show it very often,” Laura explained, discreetly elbowing Carmilla in the ribs. Carmilla rolled her eyes but pasted a sickly sweet smile on her face.

“Nice to meet you,” she murmured.

Melissa jerkily nodded at Carmilla. She motioned for the two to follow her and walked down the hallway. They paused in front of a door that Melissa unlocked. Before pushing it open, Melissa turned towards the two again.

“This is a privilege granted to a few. Speak to no one of what you see in here.”

“Of course! Our lips are sealed,” Laura quipped, miming locking her lips with a key and tossing it over her shoulder. 

“Good, come in then.”

As Melissa walked through the door, Carmilla took Laura aside.

“Laura, are you sure you trust her? We could be walking into a trap. I don’t like this place,” Carmilla said, staring warily at Melissa’s disappearing back.

“Come on, Carm. She’s a sweet lady who just owns a shop. What could she possibly do to us?” Laura reasoned.

“I don’t know. Kidnap us? Torture us? Hold us for ransom?” 

“Okay, seriously Carm, we’re going to be _fine_. It’s not like we’re in the seventeenth century or something. Lighten up!” Laura said, patting Carmilla’s hand as she sauntered back over to Melissa. Behind her, Laura heard Carmilla sigh heavily.

Laura’s jaw dropped as she entered the room. _How can all of this fit in here?_ The store—no cavern—was packed to the brim with a various assortment of weapons for vampire hunting. In one corner, ancient looking maces and sabers sat collecting dust. In the opposite corner, rifles and guns gleamed in orderly piles, countless ammunition boxes stacked next to them. Two large cannons and a mound of cannonballs rested in the third corner while a veritable mountain of stakes, both wooden and silver, towered in the last corner. Rows of heavy crossbows and quivers of arrows lined the stone floor. Ceremonial axes interspersed with deadly spears adorned the walls. Cloves of garlic hung from the ceiling, making Laura’s eyes water. The whole place would have garrisoned an army of vampire hunters for a decade. 

Melissa led them around the room, a huge smile on her face. 

“Amazing, isn’t it? I’ve spent my entire life collecting hunter tools. Look, here is the famous rapier that vanquished the Scourge of Highgate! And over here are the pistols the Cranswell brothers used to wound the Terror of Croglin Grange—they are not for purchase, unfortunately. Oh, and these are the axes that killed—”

“Okay, okay, we get it. Laura just pick what you want and let’s get out of here,” Carmilla interrupted, her normally calm voice now nervous, as she pinched her nose closed. 

Laura lightly slapped Carmilla’s arm.

“Carm! Don’t be so rude. This is all so interesting! What’s that?” she enquired, pointing at an ornate wooden spear that had a pedestal all to its own.

Melissa seemed to puff up with pride as she reverently picked up the spear and held it to the light. It seemed to thrum with power upon being touched. Its deep mahogany finish was fantastic. Delicate carvings of climbing vines snaked around the handle, a mark of extraordinary craftsmanship. But the spearhead drew Laura’s attention. It didn’t look like a typical spearhead in that it was single sided and very thin. Still razor sharp, it looked worn, like it had seen many a battle. Brown streaks curved in intricate spirals, wrapping around its tip. The spear was an instrument of beauty, but also of terrible destruction. Melissa caressed it with a finger as Laura watched, entranced. 

Carmilla let go of Laura’s hand and crossed her arms, a frown on her face.

“I am glad you asked, my dear. This is _Liebe-Mörder_. It is perhaps the most celebrated and coveted vampire hunter spear in existence. It has killed more vampires than any other weapon I currently possess,” Melissa explained, slowly rotating the spear. 

“What does its name mean?” Laura asked in a hushed voice.

“It means ‘Love Killer’ if I roughly translate it from German,” answered Melissa.

“Wow. ‘Love Killer.’ How did it get that name?” 

“Ah, now that is an interesting story. What makes this weapon _the_ weapon is its head. Look, see how the tip is—” 

A loud crash reverberated throughout the room. Laura and Melissa whipped their heads around to see Carmilla standing next to the remains of an elegant vase that had held hundreds of swan fletched arrows. The arrows were still rolling around the floor. Carmilla’s face looked paler than normal as she glowered at Melissa. Laura opened her mouth to apologize but Melissa waved her hand dismissively and returned her attention to the spear. Laura uncertainly glanced from Carmilla’s stony face to Melissa’s enraptured one.

“That vase has been taking up space for centuries. Your friend did me a favor. Don’t worry about it,” Melissa stated matter of factly.

“A-are you sure? It looked really expensive. Carm and I could—”

“Don’t be silly. Let me finish my story. As I was saying…” 

Laura peeked at Carmilla but she refused to meet her eyes, instead stuffing her hands into her pockets and looking at the ground.

“…the spearhead was not originally made for the shaft…”

Laura slowly returned her attention back to Melissa, troubled.

“… spearhead was actually the point of a sword. The sword was last used in the late nineteenth century by a baron to wound a female vampire. The vampire had been courting and preying on young women in the southern Austrian countryside, hence the name ‘Love Killer.’ The sword had sentimental value…” 

Laura jumped as Carmilla noisily kicked a piece of porcelain across the floor. Melissa remained unperturbed.

“…he brought it to my great grandmother for cleaning but the steel had become rusty and weak. My great grandmother decided to break off the tip and embed it in a shaft of wood to make into a spear. It has stayed in our collection ever since. Would you like to hold it?” Melissa offered.

Laura wrenched her gaze from Carmilla as Melissa held out the spear. She carefully grasped it. The shaft fit her hands like it had been made for her. Widening her stance, Laura experimentally twirled it above her head and whipped it down, stopping the tip a mere hairsbreadth from a stack of bows. She shifted her stance and hewed through the air, slicing through an invisible enemy. A wild exhilaration took hold of her as she cut and slashed. This was a weapon that she needed—that her father needed—to finally track down and kill the creature that killed her mother. 

Too caught up in the spear, Laura did not notice the shadow that passed over Carmilla’s face.

“I have been looking for a worthy buyer for _Liebe–Mörder_ , as it was not meant to sit here on my shelves. It needs to be used, but only by one who is capable of using it. It seems like the time has come for it to leave my store,” Melissa said, looking on with approval.

“How much will you take for it?” Laura enquired, stopping and wiping her brow.

“Normally, nothing less than three million euros. But, since you are the daughter of David Hollis and a warrior yourself, consider it a gift.”

Laura gaped at Melissa.

“You mean, I can just have it for free?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Melissa replied, a twinkle in her eye.

“Oh my gosh, thank you! Thank you so much! I’ll come back with my dad to thank you properly when he visits! Family Weekend’s just around the corner!” Laura excitedly squeaked, bouncing forward and giving Melissa a hug.

“I know. I’ll be visiting that weekend too. My daughter, Mel, attends Silas.”

“Oh! I sort of know her. She’s a Summer isn’t she?” Laura questioned.

“Yes, as was I and all the women in our family,” Melissa replied fondly, a misty look in her eyes.

Carmilla suddenly thrust herself between Laura and Melissa.

“Laura, aren’t we going to be late for dinner with the Ginger Twins?” she interjected.

Laura looked askance. 

“We have dinner with them?” 

“Yeah, uh, Perry texted me that we should meet them at the diner across town in a few.”

“She did? Well, um, ok,” Laura said uncertainly before turning back to Melissa, “Thank you so much. And we’re sorry about the vase. If there’s anything we can do—”

“Let’s go, we’re late,” Carmilla cut in curtly, hauling Laura out of the room before she could finish.

“Do not worry about it! Just remember old Melissa when your father comes to visit,” Melissa called after them.

“Okay, will do! Thank you! Bye!” Laura yelled faintly.

Carmilla dashed down the hall and ran to the door, keeping a firm grip on Laura’s arm. She pushed the door open and barreled outside, yanking Laura along. Laura tried to turn onto the main road that would take them to the diner when Carmilla abruptly changed directions, pulling her back towards the school. 

“Carm! What’re you doing? I thought we had to meet Perr and LaF,” Laura panted as Carmilla broke into a sprint.

“We need to find somewhere to dump that stick,” Carmilla replied, her voice venomous.

Laura’s eyes widened as she stopped, forcing Carmilla to stop as well. She let go of Carmilla’s hand and clutched the spear closer to her chest.

“Dump that stick? Carm, what’s wrong with you? This’s a present for my dad!” 

Carmilla spun towards her, face livid.

“Laura, you don’t know what you’re doing. You have no idea what you’re holding right now. It’s evil. You need to throw it away now!”

Laura shook with rage as she drew herself up and stabbed the spear in Carmilla’s direction.

“Are you kidding me? This is important to me! Why should I do something just because you have a problem with it? You don’t trust my judgment, do you? Everyone thinks I’m too young or too naïve or dumb or something stupid like that. But I’m not! I’m eighteen—I know what I’m doing!” she shouted hoarsely.

“Yeah, eighteen,” Carmilla snorted. “You know nothing. You’ve done nothing. You couldn’t possibly understand—”

Laura reeled back like she had been slapped.

“And I thought we weren’t strangers anymore,” she whispered in a dead tone.

Carmilla opened her mouth and closed it. She stared at Laura who stared back defiantly. Laura still had the spear pointed at Carmilla. 

They remained there unmoving.

Carmilla’s eyes darted from the spear to Laura’s face, seemingly searching for something. 

Laura refused to blink. 

Another gust of wind swirled around them, brown leaves skittering past their feet. 

Neither backed down.

Laura quivered slightly in the frigid air.

All of a sudden, Carmilla’s shoulders slumped. A resigned look came over her face as she bowed her head. Laura felt a pang of sadness. Carmilla’s face reminded her of that one time she watched a herd of sheep being slaughtered. One lamb being led into the pen had the same defeated look on its face as did Carmilla, as if both knew nothing they did could save them from some horrible fate. 

The resemblance unsettled Laura.

Carmilla clenched and unclenched her hands before stepping forward, palms up. 

“Okay. Forget what I said. I didn’t mean it. I—I’m… sorry.”

Laura bit her lip as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Carmilla just seemed so small and vulnerable with her hands held out like that. Laura hesitated for another second. She didn’t like what Carmilla said, but she hated seeing Carmilla like this. 

Laura dropped the spear and stepped forward, mirroring Carmilla’s posture. She gently took hold of Carmilla’s hands, pulling her into a hug. Carmilla sank into her, burying her face in Laura’s shoulder. Laura rubbed her back and held her closer, savoring the moment.

(How could hugging Carmilla suddenly feel so _right_?) 

“Hey guys! What are you up to?” a friendly voice called out. 

They broke apart quickly. Laura looked to her right and saw LaFontaine and Perry strolling down the street. Each was laden with shopping bags of assorted sizes. 

“We were out getting a present for my dad,” Laura replied, picking up the spear.

“That’s some present, frosh,” LaFontaine said, eyeing the spear, as they stopped in front of them. 

“Yeah, my dad’s into vampire hunting,” Laura responded, proudly hefting it.

“Well, now that we’re all together, want to grab dinner?” Perry offered.

“Sure! At the diner? Isn’t that what you texted Carm, Perr?” Laura asked.

Perry looked confused. “Um, I didn’t text anything, but that sounds lovely,” she said.

Laura swiveled her head and looked at Carmilla, who had the decency to look sheepish. She scuffed her boots against the pavement, peering at Laura through her bangs. Laura kept her face impassive.

(But inwardly, she thought Carmilla looked quite adorable.)

“So, what are we waiting for? I’m starving and carrying these bags is a workout,” complained LaFontaine. 

“Let’s all get going then,” suggested Perry, meaningfully looking at Carmilla who shrugged noncommittally.

Perry and LaFontaine linked arms, which was quite a feat as each had at least three bags on each arm. They started down the main street. Carmilla and Laura followed the two. After a few steps, Laura shyly stretched out her left hand and trailed her fingers across Carmilla’s sleeve. Carmilla didn’t seem to notice. Laura started to pull back her hand, feeling hurt, when Carmilla reached out and securely intertwined their fingers. Laura’s stomach did a belly flop. She peeked at Carmilla’s face. Her grumpy exterior was back in place, but that probably was to be expected in the presence of Perry and LaFontaine. Laura looked at Carmilla for a few more seconds before deciding that things between them were all right, outwardly at least. She didn’t like fighting with her friends, and especially not with Carmilla as they had just gotten close. 

\--

But now, as Laura thought back two weeks ago to that afternoon, she would have gladly welcomed a fight. Or a glare. Even a sneer. Anything, as long as she could see Carmilla. 

Laura cut a small figure in the darkened room, hunched over on her bed. A shawl, draped over her lean frame, nearly swallowed her up in its folds. She aimlessly toyed with the spear on her lap, sadly tracing the carved vines on the shaft with her finger. The room felt awfully large and menacing without Carmilla. 

_Don’t be weak._

Laura looked over at the empty bed. Carmilla’s once soaking wet clothes, lying untouched on the sheets, were now completely dry. Laura hadn’t moved them. If she let them be, perhaps some magic could reverse time and bring Laura back to that day. 

(It felt pathetic but pretending at least gave her _something_ to do.) 

Laura closed her eyes, unsuccessfully trying to quell the whimper rising in her throat. 

_Don’t be weak._

The memory of Carmilla bursting into their room two days before with a feral snarl on her face still frightened Laura. Carmilla had nearly torn the door from its hinges as she ran to her, asking in a desperate voice if she had been hurt. Laura had to assure her several times that she was fine. Once she looked convinced, Carmilla twisted around and ripped off her drenched clothes, hurriedly slipping into a dry leather ensemble. Ignoring Laura’s questions as to why she had been out so late during a storm, Carmilla stalked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. 

She hadn’t been back since. 

Unable to look at the bed any longer, Laura lowered her eyes. She knew she should sleep. Her dad would be here for Family Weekend tomorrow. She had to look fresh and happy. 

Her tears threatened to spill over. 

_Don’t be weak._

Laura dug her nails into her skin. 

Her gaze fell on the spear again. A different memory struggled to the surface. 

_Carmilla screaming that Laura didn’t know anything._

_Laura screaming back._

_Carmilla saying “I’m sorry.”_

Laura started. 

That was the first time Carmilla had ever apologized to Laura. 

Perhaps it would also be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> **Edit: I changed the spearhead from a stake tip to a sword point.**
> 
> [Here](http://damian-knight.tumblr.com/) is my tumblr. I'll be posting updates and stuff on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a kid trying to write. I'll be changing stuff around and updating chapters quite often, so I apologize in advance for any confusion.


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